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May 08, 2008

Collusion, My Ass!

So let me get this straight. The MLB Players Association is opening an inquiry into why no team has hired Barry Bonds this year?

They are mentioning the word “collusion.”

Um, this is the same Barry Lamar Bonds who is currently under indictment for federal perjury, right? The same Bonds who has two arthritic knees and can barely move, let alone play the outfield?

We aren’t talking about the same Barry Bonds who is such a nuclear jag-off, that his previous team, the Giants, despite being one of the worst teams in baseball, is beyond giddy that his surliness is no longer hogging the big screen in their locker-room?

Oh. We are?

Well then, if THAT’s “collusion” and not just “common sense” then I think there’s a lot more colluding going on these days!

I think it’s “collusion” that Rev. Jeremiah Wright has not been named as Obama’s VP.

It must be “collusion” that Magic Johnson hasn’t been given another shot at hosting a talk show.

It’s “collusion” that Nike won’t design form fitting golf shirts for John Daly, like they do for Tiger Woods.

It’s “collusion” that Kwame Brown doesn’t get more minutes in the NBA.

It’s “collusion” that Marcia Clarke hasn’t been named Attorney General.

Somebody must be “huddling up” to prevent Star Jones from being named “Sexiest Woman Alive.”

Just because you hit .280 and launched more than 20 bombs last season, doesn’t entitle you to a pro baseball job forever. Players with better final years in their career, and without all of Bonds’ baggage, found no takers once they turned 40 too.

Life’s a bitch that way.

It is these kind of ridiculous inquiries that makes average fans hate the MLBPA. Or, at least it does for me. I won’t speak for everybody. Back in the late ‘80’s the owners WERE colluding. They got whacked good for it too. As they should.

But let’s not get nuts now on this new “collusion.” Having a geezing, wheezing, surly asshat who – hello! – might just end up in prison, is not exactly a picnic.

Especially when he’s gonna want probably $9 million a year just to put on his batting armor for some BP.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

AND NOW, YOUR PIC O' THE DAY!!

Posted by czabe at May 8, 2008 12:00 AM