Top 5: Browns Idiots, Long Games, Fall, Tech-Lust, This League…

CLEVELAND, OH - SEPTEMBER 20: Cornerback Jordan Poyer #33 and cornerback Joe Haden #23 of the Cleveland Browns celebrate after a fumble recovery during the first quarter at FirstEnergy Stadium on September 20, 2015 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)

The Cleveland Browns are idiots. They have new idiots in charge, but idiots, they remain. So let’s just get this straight. They offered CB Joe Haden a reduced salary of $7M per year, instead of the $11M he was owed, and he turned it down. So they cut him. The Browns can now throw that $4 million in savings on top of the nearly $54 million they have already UNDER the salary cap. What are they going to do with that $4M? What have they proven? What’s the plan? And has somebody reminded these geniuses that they are blowing $16M this year on a QB they aren’t going to start, and surely hope never gets to play? Oh, right. They got a precious 2nd round pick to take on Brock Osweiller’s absurd contract. Ain’t no fucking way a 2nd round pick is worth $16M bucks, but whatever. So these moneyball geniuses Sashi Brown and Paul DePodesta, what is their plan? Stockpile draft picks? Okay, good. I’m down with that. But pile up a ton of money? Why? To spend on who? And when? Haden may be a reduced and oft-injured version of his previous Pro-Bowl self. But he doesn’t suck. Wouldn’t it be nice if fans could compel NFL front-office people to answer fans questions under oath. I’d love to hear their “logic” on this one.

Most great movies are under 3 hours long. For those that dare probe beyond three hours, they better be damn good: like Deer Hunter, or Titanic. And yet college football games are now routinely running 4 hours. FOUR. Maybe a white-hot SEC blockbuster can keep your ass on the edge of the couch that long, but most games surely can’t. Thursday’s opener between Indiana and Ohio State ran 2 hours in the first half, plus 20 minutes at halftime for the bands, and who knows when it ended, because I’m going to bed. The constant throwing in today’s modern game, and the silly clock-stopping rules, and maybe just maybe we go to a crisp 12 minute half-time like the pros. Oh, and you might want to start the game before 8 p.m. in the east.

I’ve bitched a lot about the weather this year in the mid-Atlantic region. I’m good at bitching. I know. But there is surely something about the transitional months, which make my heart sing. Tonite, for example, I was picking up my daughter at field hockey practice. The temp was a comfortable 68 degrees, with a still wispy cloud cover over a setting  sun. The angles of the light are different now, and even if you don’t know it, you feel it. It’s glorious. There’s no way to describe it unless you live it in a part of the country which changes through all four seasons. Fall, is coming. Football is here. The holidays and family lie in the distant horizon. It’s hard not to be happy. Oh sure, I know. The memories of the blazing, oppressive July heat should still be fresh in my mind. The dread of the bone cold bleak February days, with ice storms, sleet, and slush will rush in quickly once the Christmas tree is out by the curb. I’ll return to bitching then. And dreaming of Arizona. For now, however, this is the best time of the year. Period. End of story.

I was all ready to buy a new drone, but then DJI came out with a new Mavic (Platinum) and Phantom 4 “Obsidian.” Yes, they are better. Yes, I want them. No, I can’t help myself. I also want a full-frame Sony A7 camera. I already have the APS-C sized A6300. It is amazing. Take stunning photos, has 4K recording and 120 FPS slo-mo at full 1080p. But as a budding photog, I just feel like you really aren’t shit if you don’t shoot full frame. You can get the original A7 with a decent kit-lens for $1100. But with the sensational A7RII and A7SII bodies, who the hell wants “ancient” 4 year old tech? Let’s hope I go to bed, and just forget about all of this tomorrow.
The NFL has hooked into a Cat-5 shitstorm with the revelation that the league ignored the recommendation of their lead investigator in the Zeke Elliott case of “no suspension.” Plus, the league’s DV honcho Lisa Friel, specifically BARRED the same lead investigator from meeting with Goodell regarding the case. Friel, oh by the way, is a rabid Giants fan who has a “shrine” to her  Big Blue favorites at home, and boasts of her family’s 60 years of being season ticket holders. The Cowboys are due to open against… the Giants. This. Fucking. League.

About the Author

Steve Czaban is a 25 year sports radio veteran, who hosts an afternoon drive show in Washington D.C. He also appears on "Bob and Brian" in Milwaukee. "Czabe" also writes and edits his own commentaries for www.czabe.com and other on-line and print publications. He can be reached at czabe@yahoo.com.

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11 Comments

  1. Hey go easy on the Browns! My birth team your trashing here damn it!
    The plan, I think, is to continue to suck, collect high draft picks and a lot of them.
    Get rid of high priced veterans, get young. draft enough good players and develope them. Odds of drafting a few NFL studs get better if you have more picks.Keep the same coach for more than 2 years. Hope you find QB in the process that is a legitimate NFL starting quarterback.

    Sounds like a long, lame plan. But, by far the best plan since 1999.

    Go Browns 5-11!

  2. The NFL can do whatever it wants. The fans will continue to watch no matter who is suited up. The players had their chance during the last CBA to get tough and strike. Instead, they folded like lawn chairs. They compare themselves to “working unions” but don’t have the balls to miss paychecks and put it back on the employer. I wanted them to strike last time and show some guts. It’s pathetic listening to them and DeMaurice whine about a contract that he negotiated and they agreed to. This is going to happen again next time around too.

    1. Wrong. I for one, am done with football, and I was a Packer fan. Why? The Megaton “TD” no catch against the Bears! It was caught in the endzone! He put it down. WTF!? The Dez Bryant no catch in the playoffs against the Packers! I didnt see the ball touch the ground. Latroy Guion getting a second chance in Green Bay after his first marijuana bust! Berfict! Why doesn’t some coach have his third string O lineman take this asshole out at the knees? Greg Hardy! Thursday Night Football!! REALLY, is this necessary? Color Rush, Yuck. Too many DRAFT NIGHTS. What was wrong with the draft being on Saturday and Sunday? 3:30pm Central start times, this is because of too many replays, and games taking 3 plus hours. Teams moving to new cities just because. The overtime rules suck too. I’m sick of it, and I’m not going to watch any more. I know others who are sick and tired of it, and say they’re close to being done also. I know I alone won’t make a difference, like one drop doesn’t make a flood, but if the NFL doesn’t change soon, there will be more drops and it will be a flood.

      1. Goodell is an idiot who was given a shiny muscle car that ran smoothly, but thought it should be a monster truck that crushed everything, and he ruined it.

  3. I am done with the NFL. Here’s why. The Megatron no TD catch against the Bears. He had it, and put it down. Should have been a TD. It wasnt? The Dez Bryant no catch against my Packers in the playoffs. It went our way, but I never saw the ball hit the ground. Thursday Night Draft night! What was wrong with the draft being on Saturday and Sunday? It was easier to make a big deal of the first round, because most people don’t work weekends, and could make a party out of it. THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!!, and Color Rush, yuck. Neither one is necessary. Greg Hardy! Latroy Guiyon! BERFICT! Why can’t some head coach send in a third string O lineman to take out this assholes knees? I’m tired of cheering for people who should be behind bars. Games that last three and a half hours long. The stupid overtime rules. I know others who feel this way also. Ratings will start to drop again. Give it time. Goodell is an idiot who was given a shiny muscle car that ran smoothly, but thought it should be a monster truck that crushed everything, and he ruined it.

  4. Well, I hope as a Redskins fan the ‘Boys get it handed to them again in this obvious case of a compromised investigation. Maybe at some point the Giants will pay for the advantages they’ve had. I immediately thought of the injustice meted out by the Mara family and Goodell in the salary cap penalty the Redskins [and Cowboys] dealt with after the “uncapped” year. I’m sure Bruce would have screwed it up had that not happened, but still….

  5. You obviously don’t have a complete grasp of the, uh, plan in Cleveland. But I have figured it out. The idea is obviously to gradually return to two way football. That way you don’t need so many players, and think of all the money you can save up to spend on stand removals. relocations and new uniforms. Yes, it is an exciting time to be a Browns fan!

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