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Blog: March 2007 Archives
About a week ago before I went off to Vegas to go 1-7 on the Sweet 16 (again, thanks for f’ing NOTHING, U.S.C!!) I was feeling a little bit silly. So decided to author the “lost lyrics” to the CBS basketball theme. Of course, there ARE no lyrics, but it didn’t prevent me from jotting down some idiotic booze-fueled diddies in my hotel room
Just about every year, ‘bout this time, I seem to get the odd caller or emailer lecturing me about how I should give more time to the women’s game. They trot out the standard old lines used to attempt to sell an inferior product: the fundamentals are better. There’s more passion. The rivalries are great. Etc. etc.
Just one day after we carpet bombed Len Pasquerelli’s credibility back to the stone ages with a thorough dissection of his pathetic “attempt to get Jeff George a job column” it is also high time to dispatch another bomber run at fellow NFL stooge writer Peter King.
Just when you thought that ESPN.com’s resident bitter-beer-faced (and hopelessly biased) NFL writer Len Pasquerelli had dug his last shovelful of dirt on whatever “credibility” he has left, think again. In what has to be the 4th or 5th pathetic effort to spearhead the hiring of his buddy, quarterback cancer Jeff George, Len is back at it again, jousting at windmills and reality.
Here's the list of people that need to die. Tim Floyd. Acie Law IV. Aaron Brooks. Jeff Green. The referees. That should do for now. I recap exactly how wrong, and why wrong, I was on my Sweet 16 picks. Sure, some of it was my fault. Just plain bad picks. But if not for several spectacular "bad beats", I might have had a pretty decent weekend in Vegas after all.
Okay, Sweet 16 Time. So let’s not f-around, let’s get right to the picks. I’m in Vegas now, as you read this, so if you want to lay some lumber through me, I’m offering 7.5% vig on all wagers over $100. Act now, operators are standing by.
Now that I've had a full weekend to digest the NCAA Tournament, I collected, elaborated on, and actually typed up a little gift basket of random thoughts from the weekend. Thoughts like: does anybody really care about garbage minutes "making the box score?"
I know alot of HDTV owners like myself are pretty honked off at CBS for their utterly sporadic coverage of games in the pristine 1080i format. But not to defend them, I do need to remind everybody of just how far we have come. Some of us, like me, remember having to suffer through limited "alternate HD feeds" with crappy announcers.
While I am generally not one to make jokes about issues regarding terrorism, the whole Khalid Sheik Mohammed story is just too damn ripe to ignore. For starters, the fact that he looks like the dead-ringer half brother of porn star Ron Jeremy is priceless unto itself.
It must be a gas to have Marion Barry in your office pool. I bet he's even slower to pay that $5 entry fee, than he is to spiff Uncle Sam with his tax return. Then again, if you can get away with a strategy of "oh, I'll get to it" then who wouldn't? Luckily for Barry, his constituents think he's doing a FINE job in office, no matter what the IRS might say to the contrary.
If playing on Tuesday in the Tournament is such an "honor" then how come the NCAA is so sensitive about who gets stuck there, and also what people on TV call the thing? Has anyone ever heard the phrase: "It is, what it is." You can dress up this worthless game all you like, and slap some lipstick on it, nobody still wants to dance with it.
Blog: Orange.... Crushed
Okay, so let’s address this year’s NCAA Tournament outrages, and at least get them out of the way. Seeing as how these annual tempests do dissipate quickly every year (it’s usually Tuesday afternoon when the “outrages” die down and become just a tournament “depression.”
While March Madness is indeed exciting, fun, and wonderful to share with co-workers and friends, please try to avoid becoming "that guy" this time of year. Yeah, you know who "that guy" is. He's the one who solicits his brackets to you, even though you never asked. He's the one who wont' shut up about his "Final Four" picks. Don't be that guy. Please. We beg you.
If you have been waiting for the perfect "Third Panel" of the Sports Illustrated "Cover Hall of Shame" you wait is over. This week's absurdly political edition on "Global Warming and Sports" can sit proudly next to their infamous "Pit Bull" cover and the one about "Acid Rain." Personally, I've got these hung on the wall next to all the Jordan covers.
Even though the NFL draft can be a precious way to stock up on talent, sometimes a slightly unconventional approach can pay big dividends. Having not thought much about adding a QB for my Redskins who just finally promoted Jason Campbell to the job, I think if other teams are stupid enough to pass on Jason Quinn, we should pounce.
Continue reading Pondering The "Quinn Question".
The thing about good intentions is that they always feel good. A lot of times, though, they don't actually result in tangible progress. Every now and then, it's a good idea to sort of "check in" and see "how's that working out?" I do that here, with a few things that have been mostly forgotten about...
I’ve been hearing a lot of people ask out loud (or email me indignantly) “How on earth did Billy Packer think that Gerald Henderson’s hack job on Tyler Hansborough was unintentional?” My guess: Billy Packer is hallucinating.
The annual Redskins spending spree has netted what the team is calling "their top two targets" in the form of MLB London Fletcher and Fred Smoot. Call me a skeptic, but I'm going to hold off sending in my deposit for playoff tickets until I actually see something.
It hasn't been a great week for Dick Vitale. First, his cellphone gets stuck in "ON" mode while he blabbers away and a local radio show takes the opportunity to eavesdrop. Then, his precious Dukies get smacked down by Maryland for the second time this year. Thank got he's still got Pat Summitt's orange and white feather boa to hang onto.
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