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Blog: June 2008 Archives
That was the stark quote offered by the "Worst Golf Dad In History" B.J. Wie after his daughter slapped her way out of the US Open with an 81-75 trunk slammer of a weekend in Minnesota. He was asked about whether the somewhat embarrassing option of Michelle actually EARNING the LPGA Tour card she once scoffed at by way of.... gasp! ... qualifying for it, was on the table.
"What other options do we have," asked Marv Marinovich Wie?
What options? How about we start, with YOU dropping out of the picture, pops?
Good to see that the Shark is still a complete nob who doesn't get it. Despite getting gutted for millions from his first wife, ol' Greg is jumping back in with both feet with beau Chrissy Everett. Okay, let us know how that works out. I want to believe that America's tennis sweetheart from the 1970's and 80's is not a money grubbing vindictive bitch, but if she were, and Greg gets crushed again in divorce court - well, I'm gonna have to pop an ice cold Foster's Lager and drink to that my friends. Oh yeah, don't take photos of Greg's wedding either. He'll have you thrown in the Bahamian gulag. Nice job getting hitched at Paradise Island. That place has become the "Medieval Times" of beach resorts. I thought rich dudes like you went to crazy islands nobody has ever heard of, or maybe ones that you actually own! Paradise Island? Really? And you wanted privacy there?
Keith Olbermann was once on SportsCenter and people liked him. His humor was dry and biting, like a good martini. His writing was clean. His seeming self-effacement while delivering sports news and highlights made you think he was an alright guy. Then, he left. Er, got fired. Er, whatever. It was one stop in a longer string of stops for a TV guy who most people called very “talented” but couldn’t get along with management.
Laura Ingraham might be the nicest person in the world, but I wouldn't know about it. Because I'm a big fat chicken!
So I’m at the Nationals game Saturday night, chillin’ in the 8th row behind home plate. It’s nice when you know an “insider” who can hook you with the $325 per game seats (you read that figure correctly) for nuthin’.
When what do mine eyes see, but the fabulous conserva-babe Laura Ingraham sitting just a row in front of me, down 12 seats to the right.
This was the Yahoo blurb that appeared on Monday. I found it particularly hilarious that the editor made a point of calling the dunk by Candace Parker "extremely" rare. Was that an extra elbow shot to the ladies ribs? I hope not.
More reasons to hate the Fighting Irish: “NBC Renews Deal With Notre Dame, Despite Poor Ratings.” The 5-year extension guarantees that people will continue to loathe Notre Dame with an even greater intensity than imaginable. It also means that Charlie Fraud Weiss’ fat ass is going to be even more on the hot seat.
Move over, Ken Venturi. Sorry. But you getting a little hot in 1964 is going ot have to take a backseat to what Tiger did this year at Torrey Pines.
Okay, so you were more than just a little "hot." I get it. Don't get me wrong, Ken. I love you like a grandfather. You are my favorite Sunday voice on televised golf and will be forever.
But my god, what Tiger did was so far off the charts, it's insane. In fact, amazingly risky. He was one lip-out away from having torn up his knee and leg for nothing.
I don’t like being wrong, even though I am quite frequently.
I said Lakers in 5. What a dunce.
So, in an effort to learn from my mistake, and be less dunce-like in the future, I think I have four big “lessons” to learn from this year’s NBA Finals.
There's more, much more, to the Dick Bavetta is the fixer theory than any mainstream media outlet is willing to explore with fearless honesty. Thank god then, for the internet, emailers, and bitter Bucks fans with long memories of the 2001 travesty in the Eastern Finals.
I”ve been getting “a lot” of complaints about the new site from people. Okay, to be specific, I have a folder of exactly 43 people who violently oppose the new format. Not exactly a "groundswell" considering the numbers of votes the new polls are getting. (Like the bigger photos? I do! Me likey!)
A common theme of the emails, has been, well… NOTHING specific actually. They all just say they HATE it!
Look, I can’t please everybody. But let me at least hold your guys hands for a second and lead you around.
Someday when Tiger is gone, golf is gonna suck.
I mean, really, really suck.
It’ll suck like back to back episodes of “The Magic Hour” and “The Chevy Chase Show.” It’ll suck like a Rich Kotite coached football team. Suck as bad as having to cancel a night of poker to attend a Lamaze class with your wife.
Because no matter how much you think the golf media strokes Woods’ putter with a big ol’ tub of Vaseline, the reality is he brings an electricity to the game which nobody else can.
Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. Or maybe not.
Maybe I’m just a sucker for documentaries, or maybe this one has set the bar at a whole new level.
Maybe it’s just my golf geekdom coming through. Or maybe any sports fan can enjoy this.
Blog: The Lost NBA Travesty
This will not come as news to any Milwaukee Buck fans, but most of the rest of the country is unaware of how horribly one-sided the officiating was in the 2001 NBA Eastern Conference Finals. Let’s call it the “Lost Travesty” that is not being discussed in the wake of the ongoing Donaghy bombshell and aftershocks.
Blog: Behold The "Crap Cannon"
Well my pretties, you better bring an extra pair of Fruit of the Looms to this year's Democratic convention, because the term "Brown Out" might just take on a whole new meaning for beard-sportin' hippies with their anti-war posters.
Airlines are scrambling to save fuel. But this is getting ridiculous!
This is simply fabulous. And god bless camera phones and the internet for allowing us all to ponder the insanity of being a lone Celtic fan amongst a sea of drunken Laker idiots watching a game on the jumbotron.
Media: Closest Poll Ever!
You know, I've been cooking up these poll matchups for years, and I always try to get as CLOSE a "game" as possible. But it's not easy. But my god, look at this snapshot after 1100 votes! That's razor thin! It has to be the biggest nailbiter in Daily Czabe poll history. And, thanks to the new blog software, we have the percentages displayed to the 7th decimal point, which frankly, I think is a little bit too anal.
Pam Anderson still pops the gun in the low 90's when she's on, doesn't she? For a gal who is 40 years old, with lots of deep playoff runs adding to her career minutes, I'm impressed with her durability as a Grade A babe.
Now granted. She's Hep-C. And she's been through every skank rocker in Hollywood like the Tigers batting through the order in an inning.
But still. You gotta love it. Pammy, now a naturalized US Citizen, congrats.
Blog: It's The Powe Show!
Leon Powe had 13 free throws in 15 minutes. The entire Laker team had 10 free throws in 240 combined minutes. Okay. Sure. Whatever. That’s logical. And David Stern wonders why his league struggles to be taken seriously......
Blog: Bear With Me People...
Okay folks, I know there is a MINOR riot going on here with Czabe.com. I am wresting with the software and dance moves on posting with our new Czabe.com 3.0. It's gonna be all day Monday and into Tuesday until I get wired.
There are plenty of violent sports that produce bone snapping, horrific injuries. It takes balls of steel to ride a 2-ton bull that has been shocked in the ass. It takes insane courage to hurtle down a mountain slope at 60 mph in an Olympic downhill. The regular car-crash caliber impacts of NFL football games cannot be over-stated. But hockey players are a cut above.
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Snickies
- Giselle Bundchen
- Kristen Bell
- LPGA's Paula Creamer
- Kardashian Poolside Twofer!
- Mrs. Tony Romo?
- You Gotta Love Twins!
- McCarthy, Holmes, Lilly
- Paulina Porizkova
- Pam Anderson
- Lindsay Lohan
Reader Poll
Giada vs. Maria
| Results after 1081 votes |
Podcasts
- Reilly Surfaces As SI-ESPN Trade Takes Shape
- Welcoming My New Insect Overlords
- Pipe Down People, This Is Gonna Work...
- The Giant American, Andy Bean.
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Video Clips
- Airbag To the Testicles! Yes, And it Counts!
- Dumb & Dumber Meets Track and Field
- Not Your Average Ditsy Ball Girl
- Shaq Has A Low Opinion Of Kobe Bryant
- I Need One Of These
Mailbag
Golf And Poker Do Not Mix
I can't agree more with the drought in the sports world that you and the boys talk about. I sit here on Sunday afternoon watching some golf. Now this isn't just any kind of golf. This is The World Series of Golf...what? Apparently this is golf, but infused with poker.
Why must the Gods mock us so?!
Read more ...
- Flooding, BCS of Primaries
- NASCAR vs. Formula One
- Baseball's Confusing Over/Under .500 Stat
- Well. I Stand Corrected. Ahem....
- What? Us Investigate? Why Bother?