Wie Wie Wie, All the Way Home....

Watched the US Women’s Open for a good 2 hours on Sunday. And lets just stop any talk that Michelle Wie – or ANY woman – could actually get a PGA Tour card. The Tour motto is “These Guys Are Good.” The LPGA motto could be: “… and these gals, ain’t THAT good.”

If you thought Pinehurst was a vomit-fest by players, man you should have seen Sunday at Cherry Hills! There was more puke out there than the Olsen twins’ bathroom.

In a 30 minute span, I watched Wie miss a 2 footer, Lorena Ochoa chili-chunk her drive into the water on 18 en route to a snowman, Wie miss another 3 footer, and various other ladies slap it all over.

Wonder why Wie was such a train wreck on the front 9? Because she’s seldom playing events under pressure. She’s playing just to “make the cut” or advance past initial qualifying for men’s events. As any golfer knows, this is like only hitting balls on the range, and then expecting the same results on the golf course in tournament conditions.

The good news for Wie, is that eventually she’ll realize the “Manned Mission to Mars” fantasy of playing the men’s tour. It may take until she’s 21, and has failed dozens of times. But when that happens, and she just worries about her LPGA contemporaries like Annika, Morgan, and Paula, she’ll be in contention - and win - quite a bit.

But the question shall linger. Did she hurt herself by not experiencing the “art of winning” more often as a teenager against her own level of competition? We shall see. Or is that “Wie” shall see?

Here’s three reasons why the LPGA’s best, still can’t touch the PGA’s Best.

1. Length.
Yes, it still does matter. And even though Wie and Sorenstam are pounding it 290+ off the tee, they don’t have “through the bag” length like the men. Vijay can hit an 8-iron 170 if he needs to. The ladies can’t.

2. Rough.
As you saw at the women’s US Open, even a moderate amount of rough puts them at a huge disadvantage. The men’s strength allows them to slash the ball out of 3 inches relatively easily. For women, 3 inches is stifling. (Ahem… no jokes here, people. Come on…)

3. Short game.
For women, their short game shots are basically a dozen or so flavors of shot. For men, it’s Baskin Robbins. Floppers, pinch and stops, runners, bumps, skimmers, dead-legs, belly whoppers, knucklers, parachute balls… you name it. They’ve got that shot. Put ladies in uneven lies, bad stances, bare patches, or needing to spin something, they’ll struggle.

All that being said, does it kill me psychologically that all of these gals could “gut me like a fish” (Tyson phrase) on a golf course of my choosing?

Yes.

It makes me feel small, lame and pathetic inside. Thanks for reminding me.