Mission Impossible

In a much hyped interview that disappointed like one of his free agent splashes, Redskins owner Daniel M. Snyder spoke to Comcast SportsNet on Sunday night.

Well, he talked to George Michael, a virtual Redskins TV Network “house man.” And it was on tape.

Why is this even news? I mean, Jerry Jones gives so many interviews you can hardly get him to shut up. How come Snyder is so reclusive?

Is it because he thinks that most Redskin fans hate him? Why wouldn’t he be loved? He spends money on players. He “wants to win so bad” as everyone says. Blah, blah, blah.

Snyder doesn’t get it on many levels, but here’s the level which bothers me the most: accountability. Need a definition? Fine. Here.

Accountable: “Liable to be required to give account, as of one's actions or of the discharge of a duty or trust.”

Ah. Trust. That’s a good word. Snyder may own the pink slip on this football team, he may pay rent to the banks on the stadium note, and he may cash the massive yearly checks that come from the NFL’s multi-headed spigot of money.

But he owns what is essentially a public “trust.” It is a football team that a city, and a community of fans have loved, cared for, lived and died with, and root for every Sunday.

And by and large, Snyder has abused that trust. Multiple ways. I need not laundry list them here. So Snyder should be ACCOUNTABLE to these same fans. Yet he is not. He gives too few honest interviews, because he’s so thin skinned, he deems them unfair. He won’t reach out to fans like other young owners in sports, because he doesn’t need to. At least not yet.

Why walk the concourse like Ted Leonsis shaking hands, or emailing season ticket holders like Mark Cuban when there’s a waiting list and 92,000 suckers ready to file in and pay $8 for a beer?

And just “wanting to win” is not enough. So stop saying that, people. It’s no compliment to Snyder. Fat people want to get laid, and broke people want to get paid. So what? Mere “wanting” is no virtue.

Michael’s “interview” if you will, was everything I expected it would not be coming from a huckster like The King. He basically retired from NBC 4 in order to do solely Redskin related programming. He considers Snyder a friend, and has even implored publicly: ‘This is a good man.’

And he may be. But a lousy owner. And George did nothing to probe that lousy-ness, or even ask what real lessons Snyder has learned. (Other than: “Gee, this winning in the NFL is hard!”)

I knew the interview was going nowhere, when George opened with a question so absurd, it defied belief. Snyder was asked if he knew how much “heartache” and “scrutiny” owning the Redskins would entail, would he do it all over again if given the chance.

This is like asking a blind man who can now see, if he’d rather go back to being blind so he can ditch his sunglasses.

George laughed Snyder in and out of questions that hit will all the “FOOF!” of inflatable toy boxing mitts. At one point, he even said: “Okay, I’ll let you off the hook on that one.”

Wow. Hard hitting. Nice work, King.

All along, I just wanted one real question asked. “Do the Washington Redskins have a mission statement, and if so, what is it?”

I would guess Snyder’s answer would be to “Win Championships.” But that’s hardly a mission statement any serious company would adopt. It would be like a company saying their mission statement is to “Make Lots of Money.”

In short, what does Dan Snyder think the Skins are “all about?”

I suspect he likes making money as much – if not more – than winning. Doing both would be nice, but lets make sure the cash is flowing first. If you doubt that making money and pumping up the value of the franchise is how Snyder REALLY keeps score, then you need only look at how Grinchian the team is about every little morsel of revenue.

Even access to Snyder’s own bland thoughts like on Sunday, come with a price. No matter how much anybody denies it, you can bet your Club Seat money that Comcast’s multi-layered business relationship with the team essentially bought that sit-down. Of course, Snyder still got to dictate who would lob the softballs.

Cha-ching.

Most disturbing though, was how un-convincing Snyder himself was about the structure, direction, and philosophy of this football operation. I actually was keeping an open mind, that this young man of such moxie, drive, and financial achievement would wow me into saying: “Well, I may disagree. But I see what they are TRYING to do.”

Nope. Snyder seemed as nervous as a CEO under deposition. His answers were short and stock. At one point, I even wondered: “How the hell did this guy make so much money?”

More questions flooded my head, but none came close to ever leaving King George’s puckered lips.

Question: “Dan. You have brought in 21 former Pro Bowl players at top dollar, NONE of them has made the Pro Bowl in your uniform. You have also had fewer picks in the first three rounds than any other team since you took over. Have you thought about taking a different approach.”

Question: “Dan. Last year, somebody convinced you to spend close to $10 million on Adam Archuleta. He barely played. If some manager in another business lost $10 million of your dollars in a boondoggle project, would you still employ him?”

Question: “Dan. Bringing back Joe Gibbs is an attempt to return the glory days of the first Gibbs tenure. Are you aware that all of Gibbs’ success back then came with a strong GM that helped dictate personnel moves?”

Ah. Never mind. I could ask things all day long, and we’ll never get answers. For now, we’ve got what we’ve got. And it looks like we’ll keep getting more of the same.

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