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This Is Not Really, Miguel Tejada

By Steve Czaban on April 18, 2008 12:00 AM | Permalink

Miquel Tejada is actually 33, not 31.

Well, knock me over with a feather. No sh…..

In a cleansing revelation for himself, the already roid-tainted Astros slugger said he wanted the team to correct that detail in their media guides in order to give him some closure on a lie hatched when he was just 19 years old in the impoverished Dominican Republic.

It sorta makes you wonder what OTHER little revelations in sports need to see the light of day. I dunno, I’m thinking things that I’ve always suspected like…

-David Stern has a short list of preferred NBA Finals matchups every year, and he “accidentally” keeps leaving it on the office copy machine at work.

-Augusta National has one day a year in which the public can actually walk up and play for $50 with cart. It’s just that they never disclose the day, so nobody ever asks.

-Mel Kiper’s hair. Not real.

-Pac Man Jones actually hates lap dances, just loves the food at strip clubs.

-George Steinbrenner, in person, is shockingly pleasant and totally self-effacing. Who knew?

-Those radar gun readings in major league stadiums? Just good guesses by a scout sitting behind home plate, not actual readings.

-Inside ESPN, staffers openly mock how lame women’s basketball is, despite shoving it down everybody else’s throats.

-Sid “The Kid” Crosby is also 33 years old.

-NASCAR secretly getting sick of all those “left turns”, is preparing to run races clockwise in 2009.

-Stanley Cup Playoffs not nearly as “grueling” as TV analysts keep saying. Players admit: “We could actually play more games if they wanted.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

AND NOW YOUR PIC O' THE DAY!!

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What Would Irv Have Said?
Hi Steve: When Bob brought up the other day the things may have been different with Brett had Irv been around, I really got to thinking. Since Holmgren, and likely Wolf departed, and his dad died, Favre has had no one to really fear. Next up, Ray Rhodes and Mike Sherman, who let him run wild. Since he didn't have accountability, he could become more of a diva with no one to bring him down to earth. By the time Thompson and McCarthy came along and weren't willing to let Brett walk all over the team, he had been unaccountable for long enough that he couldn't handle it and resented it. Hurt feelings resulted from him having to answer to someone for a change, and from fewer special "Brett rules". I am very curious how he handles Mangini, whom I have been told by a Jets fan is hated by the players. And, wait till Mike Lupica shreds him by mid-October. Read the NY press, they are building him up and up, and they will love tearing him down. See ya, donkey, Terry Rindt Read more ...

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The views expressed here do not necessarily represent the views of any radio stations, networks, or organizations for which Mr. Czaban is currently employed or contracts with. The opinions are pretty damn good, most of the time, but are subject to factual discrepancies and Mr. Czaban's personal biases from time to time. Any such discrepancies or disagreement you have with these opinions, are welome at mailbag@czabe.com. This website is intended for entertainment and information purposes only. All other uses of the material found within is done so without approval. This is not an actual legally binding disclaimer, but you get the point.

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August 2008

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This Is Not Really, Miguel Tejada