Not All Sleep Is Created Equal

On Monday, as I was driving back to Washington D.C. from Nemacolin Woodlands Resort after my morning show, I started getting’ a lil’ bit drowsy. Not wanting to drift into Sam Kinnison Land, I decided it would be best to find a rest stop, and snag about an hour of cut logs.

Thankfully, the ol’ Sideling Hill rest stop was just ahead and I made it into the clean, wide open, and seemingly very safe parking lot around 11 a.m. I kept the car running, cranked the air, locked the doors, and leaned the seat back for a little recharge.

And because I’m a CHAMP at sleeping, I had no problem knocking out an hour. I awoke feeling good enough to drive, but not exactly like I had a GOOD hour of sleep.

Part of it, I’m sure, was that deep subconscious feeling of: “You know, even way out here in nowhereville, some punks could come up and decide to try to carjack you.” That does tend to cut down on the juicy good REM sleep you really want.

So it got me to thinking: “What is the WORST sleep you can get?” If highway “rest stop sleep” isn’t near the bottom, what is?

I immediately had to discount ANY and ALL military related sleep. What our men and women get for sleep in combat, is beyond comprehension. I would never make it.

But as for the rest.. I starting making a list…

- Meeting Sleep (Mmmm. Charts and graphs make me yaaawwwwnnn!)
- Bus Sleep
- Airplane Sleep
- You let your buddy drive your car because you had to sleep.

Then callers to my various shows added more…

- Prison sleep
- Wet sleeping bag sleep

And then this gem of an e-mail from Dave Kendierski in Oconomowoc…

The wet sleeping bag IS THE WORST sleep scenario from this morning's B&B show. In all the other scenarios, one can eventually block out the physical discomfort and actually sleep. Not so with the wet sleeping bag. You've only slept part of the night and either lay in the slop, awake til morning, or pack up and leave.

Other's close behind....

- The "un-resolved fight with spouse right before bed" sleep

- The "impending doom" sleep. Have to wait until morning to get news on; expensive car repair estimate, indictment, lab test results, etc.

- The "f'ing neighbor's dog's incessant barking" sleep. He went to Vegas for the weekend, left the dog with food, but the dog spilled the water dish.

- The "staying at relative's house and you can hear every word of their all-night-argument" sleep. Glad I can afford a hotel room nowadays.

And my close second to the wet sleeping bag is "LEFT ON AN ISLAND" sleep...While on a drinking binge weekend with the guys we decided to "sleep under the stars" on an island. Sometime that night after everyone had passed out, I heard a boat leave. No problem there WERE 2 boats. Then about 5am I awoke to the sound of the other boat leaving. Problem. Me and 1 other guy were left there. We managed to find several beers floating along the shore. That was breakfast. After an hour or so, I decided to swim to shore (northern WI, september, water was maybe 55 degreees) got the boat and went back to get the other guy. Later, I asked "I don't care who left first, but I care who left second?" The guy who fessed up, took a punch to the face.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

AND NOW, YOUR PIC O' THE DAY!!