Not So Classic: WBC Losing Steam

The point of the World Baseball Classic was to pit the “Best of the Best” from various countries against each other in a truly “World Series” of baseball.

It was, and remains a great idea. Truly inspired.

Now’s the time to kill it.

Why? Because it has already become NOT the best of the best, but the sort-of best against the rest. And who wants to see that?

Barry Bonds, Manny Ramirez, Rich Harden. All out. More are sure to come. Pedro Martinez will skip the first round. A-Rod was flipping a coin to see which team he should play for – wow, now that’s some heartfelt loyalty there.

There’s an old saying everybody’s crusty old man taught them while wearing a tool belt and smoking a cigarette when you were just a kid: “If you are going to do a job, then commit to doing it right!”

There’s really no point in continuing with this many high-profile defectors. The owners are about has happy with this thing as a guy who is diagnosed with herpes. There are Little League style rules about blowouts and maximum pitch counts.

In short, it’s barely baseball.

Look, we have a pretty good idea which countries produce great baseball players. Their products are on our biggest and brightest stage every October.

As the famous SI cover once said to Michael Jordan while whiffing on a curve ball: “Bag It!”

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Here’s what Bryant Gumbel said about the Winter Olympics on the close HBO’s Real Sports. Of course, while it caused a stir, nobody is calling for his job.

"Finally, tonight, the Winter Games. Count me among those who don’t like them and won’t watch them. Because they’re so trying, maybe over the next three weeks we should all try too. Like, try not to be incredulous when someone attempts to link these games to those of the ancient Greeks who never heard of skating or skiing. So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world’s greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the Winter Games look like a GOP convention. Try not to point out that something’s not really a sport if a pseudo-athlete waits in what’s called a kiss-and-cry area, while some panel of subjective judges decides who won. So if only to hasten the arrival of the day they’re done, when we can move on to March Madness for God’s sake, let the games begin."

Now I am certain, if a white sportscaster closed his show with the following, nobody would mind either, would they?

Finally, tonight, the NBA Finals. Count me among those who don’t like them and won’t watch. But because it’s being hyped by ESPN, we should all try. Like try not to be incredulous when somebody says how much this title will “mean” to a certain player who you just saw on MTV cribs getting more excited about his basement stripper pole than going to practice. So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world’s greatest athletes, despite a paucity of whites that makes the NBA Finals look like the audience at “A Night At the Apollo.” Try not to point out that America’s best collection of black so-called “NBA superstars” got de-pants-ed by more than one team of mostly white guys from countries you’ll never visit in your lifetime at the last Olympics. So if only to hasten the arrival of the day they are done, when we can move on to the heart of the PGA Tour season, for God’s sake, let the NBA Finals begin.

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For anybody outside of the Milwaukee area who reads this blog and missed it, this is a simply FANTASTIC tale of a basement dice game gone bad! And here’s a hint to any of you hustlers who don’t have the money to give back to guys you swindled with loaded dice – don’t drive up on a Jaguar, and then say “I ain’t got it!”

On a related note, I was incredulous that a regular backyard Joe could successfully “load” a set of dice in order to cheat. For sure, I figured that one’s homemade attempt would have duct-tape hanging over the “6” or a poorly putty-filled hole sitting next to the “1”.

Well, looks like I was wrong. Alert listener Nathan Stehle directs me to the exhaustive Wikipedia entry on “Dice” where the methods to load a die can be incredibly complex or stunningly rudimentary.

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For what it’s worth…

Up against NBC’s primetime Olympic coverage, TNT’s coverage of Sunday’s NBA All-Star Game posted a 5.2/ (4,707,000 HHs) cable Nielsen rating, down 13.3% from a 6.0/ (5,331,000 HHs) last year, marking the lowest-rated All-Star Game since TNT began airing the event in ’03 (THE DAILY).

Thursday night might have just been an historic night in the history of American Prime Time television. Why? The “Royal Rumble” of Olympic ladies figure skating (NBC), American Idol (Fox), Dancing With the Stars (ABC) and Survivor (CBS) has to be a first. Has to be! Each of these shows typically smashes it’s competition in their usual time slots, and each show has AVERAGED over a 20-share.

I dare say, never before have four-20-share powerhouses gone up against each other one night. It just doesn’t happen. On a larger scale, imagine the Super Bowl, the final episode of MASH, the last installment of “Roots” and “Who Shot J.R.” all on the same night! Wow!

I won’t be able to write about which shows took Gold-Silver-Bronze in the ratings until next week. But my prediction is: Idol, Olympics, Survivor, Stars, in that order.

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This port deal by Bush is simply un-f’ing-believeable. And for all of you who think I am blind Bush supporter, you couldn’t be further from the truth. I am loyal to “Team Elephant” in that they are the party which best encompasses my conservativism, while still being able to win elections. But I have problems with “Team Elephant” all the time.

Just like any fan would have with the running of his sports team. It’s never perfect.

And Bush is just the head coach of Team Elephant, for two pretty important, very satisfying “Championships” (elections) if you follow the analogy. It doesn’t make him Ronald Reagan.

As soon as I heard about the UAE getting ownership of our entire eastern seaboard of ports, I had the kind of instant and irreversible reaction your mom did when you asked her if you could go to Fort Lauderdale for spring break with a kid in the neighborhood who is 23 and rides a motorcycle.

“Uh, no. ABSOLUTELY NOT!”

You know how your mom would say that phrase. Same feeling here.

I don’t care about how many of you email me to explain that Americans would STILL be running “security” at those ports. Or that UAE has been a great partner in the War on Terror. I don’t even care that (surprise!) the USA Today included a whole pull-out magazine today called “Our World” which highlighted how wonderful, progressive, and peaceful the UAE is.

No. No…. f’ing… way. I feel like telling Bush. “That’s it. Now no more discussion. Go to your room!”

For one, it’s bad policy. For another, it’s bad POLITICS. Here’s an easy way for “Team Donkey” to look tougher on terror than us, and that has been the other team’s Achilles heel for the last two elections.

Like Cowboy fans who were happy to win their 3rd and final Super Bowl with the triplets despite not being thrilled with everything going on with the franchise, Bush is looking more and more like the Barry Switzer of Pennsylvania Avenue.