Someday, These Arguments Might Matter

1. Let’s Get Ready To Argue!

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of what can best be called the “Absurdly Pre-Mature Sports Argument” these days. They come in the form of things like: “I think when it’s all said and done, LeBron James will go down as the best basketball player to ever lace ‘em up.”

To which I say. Okay, fine. But how ‘bout you call me back when he has THREE NBA titles, halfway to what Michael Jordan has.

These “arguments” are so speculative, it’s almost like saying: “You never know, but I think Jake Gyllenhal will someday be more revered as an actor than Tom Hanks.”

I heard the “argument” about Albert Pujols someday surpassing Hank Aaron himself on the all-time list, and not Bonds.

Or Tiger Woods someday will be regarded as better than Jack Nicklaus. Please.

Only when all of those guys racks up the HARDWARE approaching the true “GREATEST” in their sport, should these discussions take place.

Otherwise, it’s ludicrous banter that makes you want to slap people in the face with a cold smelly fish.

2. Smulyan Stoops to Quota Gambit

As the desperate race to the finish comes to a boil for the Washington Nationals and their prospective ownership groups looking to buy the team, the ridiculousness has begun.

Jeff Smulyan has even gone so far as to promise that he’ll hire a black team president, if he’s awarded the team.

This is as wrong as saying “I’ll only hire a white guy.” Essentially, Smulyan wants to run his club by quota. So much for hiring the best guy available. So much for saying “I won’t rule anybody out, or anybody in” when it comes time to hire for an important position.

Now what will the Lerner group do to “match?” Will they say: “We’ll see your black team president, and raise you a guaranteed black manager and bullpen catcher to boot!”

I know that it’s tough when you are dealing with a sport that has a long and ugly past in regard to discrimination. But then again, two wrongs don’t make a right. And I would bet that a bunch of Asian, Hispanic, Native American, or other “minority” candidates would also be upset at being told: “Sorry, we’re not looking for your kind.”

3. Get Out of My Man Cave

Keith Hernandez let loose with a little nugget of honest opinion when he said that female trainers shouldn’t be in major league dugouts. This came while broadcasting a game where San Diego’s masseuse Kelly Calabrese appeared in the dugout.

I agree.

Look, women don’t need to be everywhere in sports. There should be a few sacred “man places” left in which guys don’t have to worry about farting, cussing, spittin’ or saying something sexist.

I think the dugout qualifies as such a “protected place.” If a player needs a rub-n-tug during a game, it’s a quick walk down the hallway to the trainer’s table.

More on this in my column this week….

4. Lethal Living Room Sinkhole

Horrible and Ironic Ways To Die #49

As I always say, the grim reaper awaits those of us who are next in line, at every turn in life. This one, however, is especially jaw dropping!

ALTA, California (AP) -- It was like a scene from a horror film: A 27-year-old man plummeted into a gaping hole that suddenly opened beneath a house, trapping him beneath foundation rubble and killing him.

The victim was awake and on the ground floor about 9:30 p.m. Friday when the concrete foundation near the kitchen gave way, sending him plunging into to the ground, Erwin said.

5. And Now, Your Pic O’ The Day!