Redskins Are a Lawless Football Somalia

The Washington Redskins are an utterly failed state. There are no governing principles, and the failed state’s downtown capital city (in our case, our “home” stadium FedEx Field) is a shoddy, depressing, scary place. Aside from hostiles, it’s a ghost town of law abiding citizens.

Dan Snyder is the all powerful dictator who lords over the failed state. He is increasingly reclusive from public view, knowing that the natives all hate him. And yet he’s highly insulated from any kind of coup attempt, and is young and in good health. He has unlimited wealth, despite the ruin his inept rule has created around him. He could rule for decades more. Easily.

He has kept at his side a powerful warlord in Bruce Allen, who runs the streets for him. Playing one faction against another, he skims an obscene salary to do so from the nation’s highly concentrated wealth. He’s also increasingly reclusive within the state itself. Only when he travels 8 times a year to visit and address foreign countries does he appear in public, and only before a relatively small group of loyalist citizens at pep rallies.

It’s been 20 years of bad ideas, abuse, lies and corruption as the nation has plunged into utter dysfunction. And while we’ve had less politically skilled warlords under the dictator, this one is more resilient than the others, and has the benefit of being the son of a beloved former general. He has the dictator’s ear, has promised to deliver millions of foreign dollars to rebuild downtown, and knows how to eliminate any rivals.

Jay Gruden is nothing more than some domestic “Minister” who has an empty title and no power. Were he to actually move to enact reforms or change, he would quickly be sacked and replaced with someone else. So he goes along with it, trying to do his best under impossibly hopeless conditions.

Cynically, the dictator keeps in his circle a handful charismatic public figures who were once loved by the populace decades ago, when the country was a thriving, beautiful place to live. He’ll trot them out when needed as a distraction, or give them positions in his government to give a veneer of hope and a wisp of nostalgia.

Meanwhile, the exodus of refugees across the border to more stable NFL regimes has gone from a trickle, to a steady stream, and now appears to be a full blown flood out of this year-after-year oppression. The delusion from the administration is that a sudden improvement in the nation’s economy will bring those refugees back home. This is a massive miscalculation.

Those who have fled, will almost certainly never return. Their distrust in the corruptocracy is too deep to be swayed by a few winning seasons, or a shiny new quarterback. This won’t stop the regime from announcing new reforms, and the hiring of a new “Minister of This, or Minister of That” for the upcoming season. Maybe the dictator’s warlord will be flushed out of his current position, but he’ll likely survive.

There will be much talk in the coming months and years about rebuilding our capital city. We will appeal to various foreign entities to help provide the millions of dollars it will require. I am increasingly pessimistic those funds will ever really come. Too many enemies of this dictator are committed to keeping him isolated, and cut off from help.

For now, there is no hope. Only a long off-season ahead. I wish I could paint you a pretty picture. But I cannot.

Happy New Year. #HTTR.