Undaunted By Past Failures, Jerrah Buys Another WR

You don’t have to be 75 years old to remember the last two times Jerry Jones and the Cowboys tried to purchase a wideout who could be an immediate impact. You just need to recall Joey Galloway and Roy Williams. Will Amari Cooper be another flop? Frank Caliendo’s best voice picks from last Friday’s Y.A.L.L. Andy Pollin on the Redskins win, and the CBS return to DC. Me and OBJ are “hangdai.”

Son Of A Puig! Brewers Gutted In Game 7

Anybody who has ever loved a baseball team, only to see them come up just short… knows the feeling of Brewer fans. Everyone thinks their team is “special” but this one truly was. Unpacking the heartbreak of Game 7. I also go through Week 7 in the NFL and all of the kicking mayhem. Plus, a little twitter spat with a bourbon snob.

Football Five Ways Friday – Week 7

This week’s F5WF promises to be a slobber-knocker! Buckle up for me and Mr. X to collaborate on our picks for Week 7. Fanball.com’s Paul Charchian dispenses essential fantasy advice, and seething hatred for pumpkin spiced wings. Special guests Fox Sports’ Tim Brando on college football and looming “chaos” with the CFP Playoff committee, and NFL Network’s Mike Mayock on QB play in the NFL and how the college game is influencing it. If you don’t get it, then pry open your digital wallet for a mere $5 a month! Go to www.czabe.com/premium and join the “Football Five Ways” party!

Time To Flip Coach K and See What Falls Out

So if you believe the recorded evidence from the fed’s NCAA corruption sting, Kansas tried to buy stud recruit Zion Williamson with “whatever it takes” and yet he still chose Duke. Hmmmm. Let’s go grab every computer in the hoops office and do a through colonoscopy once and for all. MLB’s hooded fashion disaster. Notorious J-A-Y on cornrows, Jessica Mendoza and more. Dislodging disgusting “Fatbergs.”

Wisconsin Ninja, Saves Fat Man, Again

Drew Olson joins me to talk about the extraordinary double-thriller for Wisconsin fans on Monday night. Not just Jeremy Jeffress wiggling out of a bases loaded 9th inning jam, but Aaron Rodgers extending the dumb shit-eating luck of one Mike McCarthy – *Highly Successful Football Coach. The NBA season has begun, and there will be threes! Let’s calm down a bit on poor ol’ Tyreke Hill. And wait until you get drone toothpaste from a cloud!

The NFL’s Referee Spin Zone in Overdrive

So apparently, an illegal pick-play isn’t what you think it is. At least that’s what the latest NFL propaganda video “explainer” from Al Riveron would have you believe after many fans thought the Pittsburgh Steelers got away with a blatant penalty on the game winning Antonio Brown play. Who are you gonna believe? Your own eyes, or smilin’ Al? Andy Pollin joins me to find a glass certainly half full (and probably leaky) when it comes to the Redskins. Nonetheless, we’ll drink our 1st place milk while it’s in the glass! All of that, plus lawnmower, chainsaw, and Tennessee family redneck justice.

Patriots Foil Another Young Fella At Foxboro

The hyped Chiefs v. Patriots game did not disappoint. Not for fantasy owners of Tyreke Hill, or anybody who had the “over.” I run through all of Week 6, including the Redskins bounce-back win over the Panthers. Plus I find some time for NLCS and ALCS talk and a quick look at how the “Big 4 Zeroes” in college football are forming for the playoff run.

Redskins 23 – Panthers 17 – The Great, Good, Bad, Inexplicable

The Great
Adrian Fucking Peterson. Remind me to never ever ever doubt him again. Going into this game, my weeklong lament was that I couldn’t believe that the “best we have” at RB was a 34 year old legend who is now nursing three separate injuries after just 4 games (shoulder, ankle, knee). Well, guess what? HE IS!! And he’s not just the best WE have… he’s still in the top-10 of rushers in the league from an “eye test” standpoint. Peterson has amazing lateral jump-cut ability at the point of attack, still combined with great vision and instinct on where a hole is going to open up. Rest assured, if this same o-line was blocking for Rob Kelly or Samaje Perine, we’d be pissing and moaning about how over-rated the o-line is. Peterson is routinely making them look good, by maximizing the gashes they create, and finding unintended ones when the play has been effectively stuffed. Before the season, I made a (perhaps foolish) “boast bet” about Peterson not lasting the season, or his production fizzle-ing out by Thanksgiving. I said I’d “eat a pumpkin” if he hit a certain milestone. Well, we’re still many weeks away, but put it this way: I’ve already googled a few recipes.

The Good
Josh Norman’s bounce back game. It’s amazing how psycho NFL speculating and punditry can be. For example, after my ex-colleague Kevin Sheehan broke the story on his podcast about Josh’s headphones being angrily removed by force by Jay Gruden at halftime of the Saints game – a story that was ultimately backed up by national reporters like Ian Rappaport and then in-game by Pam Oliver – there were stories being written about Norman being cut this year – CUT! – and speculation about a “messy and expensive divorce” after this year. Well, a great game in coverage and a pick (okay, fair catch, but still!) and a fantastic Peanut Punch forced fumble later, and never mind all of that stuff. The Redskins are NOT going to CUT Norman this year. And I would bet he’ll be here next season, albeit perhaps with a restructure. Jay told me when I sat down for his weekly interview at Redskins Park last Friday that he likes intense players like Norman and that “he’s going to help us win a lot of games in the future.” It was pure coachspeak, but it turned out to be very true. Credit Jay for making a mark on the kind of bullshit he won’t tolerate, then turning the page to help keep a good player fully invested.

The Bad
Alex Smith as a $24 million quarterback. Smith’s offense has scored a single 2nd half touchdown this season. One. A garbage time TD plunge by Kapri Bibbs while trailing the Saints 43-13. In a league designed as a pinball machine with free-games at 20 million points, this is unconscionable. And sure, I’ll lay quite a bit of blame on the lack of dynamic outside WR’s. But let’s be honest, Smith was dogshit in New Orleans, and not very good vs. Carolina. He hit two wide open guys for TDs on coverage breakdowns, but otherwise was late, unsure, and inaccurate. He was 21-36 for only 163 yards while taking 3 sacks and almost losing a fumble after getting blown up by Julius Peppers. To squeeze just 163 yards out of 35+ trigger pulls is very low wattage. I read one beat writer who floated the “new system” excuse, but I reject that out of hand. Cousins has a new system in Minnesota, a swiss cheese O-line, and he’s 2nd in the league in passing yards. Smith was touted as no worse than a plug-and-play equivalent to Cousins. The giddy vibe in the summer from some voices inside the park were gleefully hinting that he’d be a big upgrade. Upgrade! If Smith doesn’t improve, then even a surprise playoff appearance from this team in January, will have a quick ending. Like his appearances usually do.

The Inexplicable
Carolina’s cowardice on 4th down and end of game play-calling. What ever happened to “Riverboat Ron?” The Panthers open the game moving the ball nicely. Face 4th and a football at their own 47. Punt. BAHAHAHAHA! You fucking gutless pussy, Rivera! Five running plays and a punt on 4th and less than 1 at mid-field! With an entire game to come! Seriously, bro, what are you afraid of? And with Cam Newton, who can run through, or jump over, just about anything 4th and 2 or shorter? Wow. Well, as I like to say in the NFL: “Cowardice gets punished.” Sure enough, a great punt is botched by rookie DJ Moore wandering around lost in the end zone. Then after a 3-and-out, Moore fumbles after trying to break his 6th tackle on a punt return while facing backward, at his own 22 yard line. Idiot. Next play: Redskins TD. The Panthers – a team that knows it’s not a comeback team – could have been up 10-0 but basically threw away two possessions right out of the gate, and were looking at 0-17 before they could blink. Then at the end of the game, Carolina did something rather amazing: they OVER-saved their timeouts! Don’t think I’ve ever seen that happen. Not only did they die with two in their pocket, but the play calling on 2nd and 5 from the 16 yard line was mindless. Norv Turner dialed up 3 straight “shot” plays (two into the endzone) that relied on touch and timing – neither one Cam’s strong suit. With two timeouts in your hand  you can run anything and everything. Runs. Draws. RPO’s. Cam keepers. Get the first down first, then you have essentially 1st and goal, 30 seconds left, and yet another timeout to allow for full playbook diversity. These are the things that make me say you or I could be “average” play-callers in the NFL, if we were giving a full season of immersive training. Not great. But not this brain dead.

The Net Net
First place never felt so soft and smelled so nice! The Cowboys come to town next Sunday, riding high after crushing the Jags. Jay followed up a horrible job with a great focused short week. When we all looked at the schedule back in May, 3-2 was the “chalk line of expectations” and here we are. All in all, not bad.

Football Five Ways Friday – Week 6

Another jam-packed and rock-em-sock ’em week! I try to go to an absurd 6-0 on my “Lock-of-the-Week” play. Uncharted territory. Thin air. High pressure. Mr. X explains the “2.5 Point Trap” theory. Plus gives his best release of the weekend. Paul Charchian gives us the skinny on which bums to bench in fantasy. Ty Hildenbrandt of the Solid Verbal podcast talks college football and how Alabama has basically ruined the season for everybody. And a special “Green Room Confidential” with Mike Jones of USA Today and former Skins RB Clinton Portis. This is an hour and 20 minutes of pure football packed tighter than a women’s restroom at a Van Halen concert!

Come get it by subscribing at www.czabe.com/premium

How Long Can The Brew City Mojo Last?

Drew Olson has seen plenty of awful baseball in his day, so this incredible run by the Brewers is something to relish. Can the Brew Crew take down mighty Los Angeles and ace Clayton Kershaw? How come MLB Network booted so many facts in the previous serious about the Brewers? Bad umps. Weird ways to drink beer. I compare Alex Smith and Kirk Cousins at the quarter-pole, and Antonio Brown should be suspended if he really did chuck an ottoman off a 14th floor balcony.

Jason Garrett’s Longest Yard

The Cowboys are still sticking with Jerrah’s red-headed step-son, despite the fact he has the courage index of the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz. Fourth and 1 in OT? At the +42? PUNT! Loser. My boy Cowboy Mike breaks down exactly why Jerrah puts up with this chump. We also have Notorious J-A-Y to give his Steelers some begrudging credit for saving their season, while also getting hot and heavy for the upcoming Mixtape Tour featuring 80’s acts like NKOTB, Debbie Gibson, and Naughty By Nature. All of that, plus Mike DeCourcy says the LeBron James documentary deserves an “F.”

Drew Brees Romps To Record vs. Hapless Skins

What a disgrace. Not Drew Brees. He’s a stud. I can’t hate him. Look at that family. Look at all the yards! Nah, not mad about it. Was gonna happen. But my god, the Redskins laid a complete turd, again on Monday Night Football. It’s what we do. Special Guest: “Late Night” Andy Pollin on just how bad this game was, and what it means for this season and Jay Gruden’s future.

Khabib Shows Conor Some Real Russian Crazy

Don’t let anybody try to sell you on the notion that the MMA mayhem between Conor and Khabib is somehow BAD for the sport. You don’t get people like me talking about the sport, when a clean match is ended with respectful handshakes.

1. MMA Mayhem
2. Cure for “Hot Balls”
3. Packers Shitshow in Detroit
4. Big Mac, Hot Seat
5. Mason Crosby’s Awful No Good Day
6. Giants-Panthers Wild Game
7. Odell Beckham Jr. Is A Child
8. Oddball Interview with Lil’ Wayne?
9. Another Week, More Crap Calls
10. Kareem Hunt Not Flagged, Fined
11. More NFL Week 5 Scores/Notes
12. Pinktober Turns to Everythingslusivity!
13. Brewers Finish Off Rockies!
14. David Price Stinks
15. College Upsets & Dicker the Kicker

Football Five Ways Friday – Week 5

Another jam packed ALL FOOTBALL premium episode! This week, we have Mr. X dealing out his Play of the Week on “Your Are Looking Live” following a scorching 10-2-1 effort in Week 4. But hey, yours truly, is no slouch. I’m 4-0 on my locks, and I have this week WIRED too! Come get it! Of course, Paul Charchian has fantasy advice, we talk to Ben Austro from Football Zebras, also Bill Bender from Sporting News to talk college. If you want this meaty all-football goodness every Friday, it’s just $5 a month, or $1.25 a week. A fucking CANDY BAR you tightwads! Let’s go!

Picking Through The Ryder Cup Wreckage

A double guest special episode today! First, we have Notorious J-A-Y reclaiming some minutes to talk about his Steelers and Le’Veon Bell. Also, Pat Mahomes and the art of “pumping your brakes!” Then we have the Golf Nerds assemble to lay waste to the USA team in the Ryder Cup. More free show than I should give away.. but.. here it is! Enjoy!

NOTORIOUS J-A-Y
Steelers Dysfunction
Long Run of Success
Pump Your Breaks
LeBron Lakers
FTG

The Golf Nerds
Ryder Cup Recap
What Didn’t I See
Mickelson Blame
Tiger Zombie
Task Force Blowback
Low Energy Players
Leave the Girls Home
Moliwood Pairing
Euros in America
Le Golf Nationale
Massive Grandstands
Where da Shot Tracer?
How Many Captain Picks?

Fake Academic Nonsense Papers