CzabeCast Monday April 9, 2018

Patrick Reed wins Masters. His family situation and college career are well, complicated. The glory of shot-tracer. Gary Player envy. Runner Up Ricky. Shohei Otani! ESPN’s version of TV baseaball. And more!

Well, It Was *Just* A Sublexation After All… No Biggie

Tony Finau’s dislocated ankle, turned -4 opening round is one of the great “golf injury” stories in a long time. But was it really that impressive? I’ve got everything you wanted to know about popping your ankle back into it’s socket, but were afraid to ask.

Masters Day 1 – Spieth In Command
Sergio’s Awful, No Good, 15th Hole

Notorious J-A-Y: Producer Brett Hollander Show, WBAL
1 NCAA Championship Game Recap
2 Pro Prospects for “The Big Ragu”
3 Things That Make Your Face Look Stupid
4 Tweenage Twitter: Rules and Exceptions
5 White Kids On Rap Songs Rule
6 Jay’s Top 5 White Basketball Players Ever
7 RG3 Is A Raven: Will He Make It To September
8 Other Body Parts To Pop Back Into Place
9 Blac Chyna Loses Her Mind, Endorsement at Six Flags
10 F*** That Guy!

Judge Gets DUI, Takes Year Off, Given Raise: America!

Reunited, And It Feels So Good!

Chris Cooley is an artist, a slob, a genius, a goofball, and guy who is still obsessed with football now that he’s retired. I missed him, so I talked to him about his exhaustive scouting reports, Zoolander, and the “Fab 5” QB prospects in the NFL Draft.

CzabeCast Rundown Thurday 04-05-18
Jack Nicklaus Grandkid Aces #9
Tony Finau Injury
Belichick’s Revenge??

Chris Cooley – Morning Radio Host, The Team 980
1 Almost Zapping His Mom To Death
2 Why Not Start Own Scouting Service
3 Off-Schedule vs. On-Schedule WR’s
4 Gronk Unhappiness: Is It Real?
5 Scouting Thumbnail: Sam Darnold
6 Scouting Thumbnail: Josh Rosen
7 Scouting Thumbnail: Josh Allen
8 Scouting Thumbnail: Baker Mayfield
9 Scouting Thumbnail: Lamar Jackson
10 Zoolander Movie Quotes Universal

FBI College Basketball Prosecution Coming Apart

The Masters Par-3 Remains A Perfect “10”

The Masters Par-3 contest lived in sporting obscurity for years, until the Green Jackets teamed up with ESPN to finally put it on TV. It’s an event unlike anything in sports, that bridges generations on the most impossibly beautiful stage in sports.

CzabeCast Rundown: 04-04-18
The Miracle of the Masters Par-3 Contest

Harry Mayes – 97.5 The Fanatic – Philadelphia
1 The Villanova Win Didn’t Move The Needle
2 What Happened to Temple Hoops?
3 The Sixers Have Taken Off Like A Rocket
4 Joel Embiid Owns the Town
5 Will Critics of “The Process” Admit It Was Worth It?
6 Gabe Kapler Is A Whack Job
7 Michael Bennett As An Eagle
8 Masters Longshot/Favorites
9 Nine Great Masters Traditions
10 Nine Things That Need Shaking Up

Villanova Eviscerates Michigan With SuperSub’s Nuclear Night

Donte DiVincenzo is known as “The Michael Jordan of Delaware” and also “The Big Ragu” for his Italian heritage. He’s also a kid who tweeted some dumb embarrassing stuff when he was 14. He’s also a Final Four MOP and NCAA Champion. All Hail “Bossa Nova” for a dominating title run.

CzabeCast Rundown Tuesday April 3, 2018
Tiger and Phil Practice Together? What?!

Drew Olsen: The Big 920 – Milwaukee, WI
1 NCAA Championship Game Recap
2 Dante’s Inferno: White Guy Standards
3 The Old Tweet Controversy: I Was Hacked!
4 Dome Games/San Antonio Host City
5 One Shining Moment Alternatives?
6 Brewers Opening Day
7 Jim Mora on Josh Rosen the Millenial
8 Jon Gruden Cuts Punter: Fire The Black Man?
9 Bullpenning Gabe Kapler’s Rough Start
10 Fuck That Guy!

Sorry Sister, The Crying Jordan Meme Is Undefeated!

It’s not Sister Jean’s fault that the modern sports media runs like a herd of spooked cattle toward the easiest, laziest, and click-baity-ist of stories. Still, I wish she had seen it coming, and maybe stepped aside for the players once the Final Four had arrived.

CzabeCast Monday 04-02-18 Rundown
1 Sister Jean Sucks Up All the Oxygen
2 Laura Ingrahm vs. David Hogg: To The Death!
3 Gabe Kapler’s Innovative Managing (eye roll)
4 Drive/Chip/Putt at Augusta
5 Kevin Durant Is Still Searching
6 Who Is Ready For 8K TV. You Heard Me, 8!
7 Get Up! (Pssst: Looks A Lot Like… Well, ESPN)
8 Arike Ogunbowale With Daggers
9 Mailbag
10 Random Dates/Anniversaries: Enough!

No Dunks Needed: Loyola Might Just Ramble All The Way To The Title

Basketball remains a beautiful t-e-a-m game, despite the increasing tendency to rely on a few superstars to carry a squad. Nobody shares it quite like Loyola-Chicago, which is why they’ll be fun to root for this weekend at the Final Four.

1 Loyola-Chicago: Darling of the Final Four
2 Leonard Hamilton: King of Quit
3 Lamar Jackson Has Mom As Agent
4 LeVeon Bell Is Unhappy. No Kidding…
5 New Tiger Woods Book Sez MJ Was Trouble
6 Here’s How Desperate Lindsay Lohan Is For $$$
7 Solve This Mystery: Man Who Owes 500K in Child Support… 
8 John Sterling Has A New Giancarlo Stanton HR Call
9 A Craft Beer Will Cost $16 at Nats Park
10 Fuck That Guy!

If A QB’s Win/Loss Record Was Really Such A Great “Stat” Then Drew Brees Would Be Retired By Now

I’m happy and excited to have Alex Smith as a Redskin. But the front office should tread lightly when bragging about his key “stat” of a winning record these last five years. Has anybody checked their records lately?

CzabeCast: March 29, 2018
1. Things That Are/Are Not “Stats”
2. Kings Game Blocked by Mob
3. Another NFL Cheerleader Lawsuit
4. NFL Targeting Rule Day 2 Fallout
5. Other Sports Safety Innovations
6. Should Giants Trade OBJ?
7. Welcome to Augusta, ProTracer!
8. Scuffy Cricket Ball Scandal
9. Lamar Jackson’s Blowing It!
10. Karate Chopping (non-Ninja) Turtles

Here Come The Rules Headaches

The NFL’s new “Lowering Your Head” rule (it needs a more catchy moniker) is either going to radically change the pro game as we know it, or it’ll just be another quickly junked bad idea in sports.

Drew Olsen: The Big 920 – Milwaukee, WI
1. The NFL’s Surprise Rule Change
2. Drew Finally Covers The Final Four
3. One Shining Moment Sucks (or does it?)
4. Had Enough of Sister Jean Yet?
5. Brewers Season Preview
6. Chavez Latrine: A Muddy Puddle of Shit
7. Manlaw: The Bourbon Dispute in Vegas
8. Johnny Manziel’s NFL Chances
9. Uber Pedestrian Death: Block/Charge?
10. Man Fakes Death to Avoid Paying Bet

Illegal to email after hours? What is this… France?

The “Good Boy” Sweater Is Undefeated!

Michael Bennett is facing some serious charges. But so far, the evidence looks pretty flimsy. In fact it’s looking like the Bennett/Security guard case in Houston is going to be very divisive, so buckle up. In a lot of ways, it looks to me like it might be the mirror-opposite of Bennett’s LVPD claims after he was arrested. I’ll detail my comparisons in today’s CzabeCast.

Today’s CzabeCast Rundown
1. Michael Bennett Felony Case
2. Vegas Golden Knights Expansion Success
3. Jordy Nelson “Hurt” By Packer Cut
4. Annual NFL Coaches Photo
5. Malcolm Butler Benching Remains Mystery
6. New Catch Rule: Will It Work?
7. Happy “Birthday” to Howard 100
8. Shadow Creek GC: Full Review
9. YouTube Sponsors NBA Finals
10. Flat-Earther Builds Home-Made Rocket

To Tap Out Early, Is Now Forever Known As: “To Pull A Leonard Hamilton”

Meet the Czabe-Pack
Managing Drunk Level
Voice Trashing
Lots of Bad Beats
Leonard Hamilton v. Dana J
Anything Can Happen!
Never Bet $1000 (Thank God!)
Slots are Under-Rated
My Strategy: “Always Win”
Loyola Is Really, Really Good
Monte Carlo/MGM Park Recap
New Vegas Czabe-Pack Rules
CzabeVegas Moving to Fall??
Missed Duke-Kansas On Airplane
More Replay Misery
Man Attacks McDonalds Over 2x Cheesburgers

CzabeCast Tuesday March 20, 2018

My Love Affair With Las Vegas

Notorious J-A-Y – Radio Producer WBAL
First Day In Radio?
Rolling Open Concept
He Called It! UMBC Pride!
What Does It Mean?
Intramural Point Guard
Uniforms Like Teen Wolf
What Happens Next?
More Tournament Talk
Sister Jean at Loyola
Has Izzo Lost His Rep?
Here Comes Kentucky/Duke
Grayson Allen: Embarrassment to White Dudes
Why Can’t Players Crack A Zone?
Mo Wagner & Sportsmanship
Glenn Big Baby Davis’ Bad Bust
Tyronn Lue Steps Aside for Health
Ravens Did Ryan Grant Dirty
Aaron Hernandez Gay?
Women Hold Grudges
Supermodel Splits With BF
50-Cent Pissed At Vivica Dis
F*** That Guy!

Uber Driverless Assassin Car

CzabeCast Monday March 19, 2018

The NFL Does Ryan Grant Dirty
Jets PSL’s: Shockingly, NOT A Good Investment

Drew Olsen: Big 920 – Milwaukee, WI
NCAA Tournament In Shambles
Athletes Better, Quality of Play Isn’t
Why Was UVA Upset Not That Exciting?
UMBC Twitter Account On Fire
Do Coaches Need to Be SOB’s To Win It All?
Radio Host In Trouble Over Tweet
MF’ing Old People
Ranking the Bad Losses
Stat of the Day: 0 Perfect Brackets Left
Jordy Nelson to Raiders
Taking A Paycut: No Way!
Brewer Tribute Video: Sandlot
Field of Dreams: Overrated Tripe
Tiger Comes Close… Again
Rory Goes Deep
Rubber Snake Theory of Golf
FTG: Drew: Rory McIlroy
FTG: Czabe: Ted Valentine

Tragic Bridge Collapse in Florida

CzabeCast Friday March 16, 2018

Arizona Poops It’s Shorts
Skip Bayless: Kiss of Death
Sideline Reporters Work Really Hard
Andy Pollin – DC Podcast
Alex Smith Is Dreamy
Spying OJ’s Junk?
Kirk vs. Alex Projection
Eddie Haskell Effect
Overrating Case Keenum
Ryan Grant Fails Physical
Skins Still Need Better D
John Skipper’s Wild Coke Tale
“Recreational” Cocaine Use?
Sean McDonough Ousted from MNF
Can MNF Be Great Again?
Andy Has Tiger Woods Wood Again
Tiger “Too Good To Be True?”
Back Injuries, Surgeries 101
Fantasy Masters Drama
Andy’s Family NCAA Pool
Andy’s DC Podcast: Kevin Grevey
Psycho Samurai Murder Chick

CzabeCast Thursday March 15, 2018

Four Ways March Madness Rules!
Baseball’s 10th Inning Tweak
New Rules of Golf
Daylight Savings Law Change
Stat of the Day: Joe Thomas
Jets QB Confusion
Sergio Names Kid After Golf Hole
You Are Not That Interesting

Notorious J-A-Y! – Producer, WBAL, Baltimore
Jamaica & Rum
NFL Free Agency
NCAA: Best Non-Highlight Moments
NCAA: Best Cinderellas
NCAA: Best NBA Phenom Breakouts
NCAA: Greatest Plays
NCAA: Greatest Coaches
NCAA: Greatest Things About Tourney
NCAA: Greatest Announcers
NCAA: Biggest Tourney Abominations

“F*** That Guy!”

Stupidity Is Shooting Itself in The Foot