The 7 Circles of Interior Painting Hell

Apparently, if ESPN says “Boo!” then D-1 football programs jump. Who is Tiger’s new “lil’ shawty?” Greatest home runs in baseball history. Notorious J-A-Y describes the misery of DIY paint jobs. F*** that guy! Algorithms can’t comprehend “truth.”

The Decadent Eating Life of the Badgers Earth Movers

That might be one of the most accessible, decipherable statements from a group that communicates frequently in quotes from movies. The more obscure the reference, the better. “Nobody knows what they’re talking about except for them,” Badgers quarterback Alex Hornibrook says.

  1. Immovable Feast: Inside Wisconsin’s O-Line
  2. LeSean McCoy Sued By Ex Over Home Invasion, Robbery, Beating
  3. Florio’s Easy Fix To the Awful Helmet Rule
  4. Pour One Out For “The Anvil”
  5. Andrew Luck Shaved. It Looks Weird
  6. Isiah Thomas Apologizes for Calling Cleveland “Shithole”
  7. The PGA of America’s Blazing Hypocrisy over DUI
  8. Bruce Bowen Speaks Mind on Kawhi, Loses Clippers Gig
  9. Mark Zuckerberg Is Out of His Depth
  10. Mike Franscesa Is Doing It Again!

“Dude…. I Stole A Plane”

Tiger Woods and his spectacular SECOND PLACE finish at the PGA. Gary McCord is the worst. Brooks Koepka is kicking sand in everybody’s face. The crazy suicide-by-stole-airplane story in Seattle? Is he a hero, a tragic figure, or a FTG? Thom Loverro of The Washington Times, 106.7 WJFK and Cigars and Curveballs joins me to talk Maryland Football, Nats and Davey Martinez, and more.

You Are Not Troy Polamalu. Sorry.

“It is not known how the fan made it past security, but real Steelers players quickly noticed the impostor who wore a jersey that had little resemblance to the practice jerseys the Steelers wear.”

 

  1. Steelers Uber Fan/Imposter Gets In Some Practice Reps
  2. Skins and Jets Fight Over Who Sucks More
  3. The NFL Will Have Their Worst TV Ratings In Years in 2018
  4. Jim Brown: Not A Kneeler. Go @ Him, Twitter Tough Guys
  5. Tiger Finishing Runner Up in Girlfriend Department Too
  6. Defiant Maryland Football Program Reeling After ESPN Report
  7. Tour de France Champ Beats Up Frankfurt Hooker
  8. Let’s Get Ready to Gamble!
  9. Nice Shoes, Prolly Fake
  10. Holy Shit

Capital Golf Gang – Live! PGA Championship Edition

Okay, so it’s no longer “Live!” but we were live at 9 a.m. this morning to discuss the tournament, Brooks Koepka’s sudden rise to dominance, the future PGA sites and the move to May, CBS broadcast likes/hates, Gary McCord, shot-tracer, and more! (Note: Sorry about audio quality, I am efforting why it is not pristine).

Beer Mile Now, Donuts And Cigarette Mile Next!

Who wouldn’t want to have 4 beers in 4 minutes, and then have them slosh around your stomach like a washing machine while running balls-out for a sub-five-minute mile? Well, some maniacs love it. And now there’s a whole “Beer Mile” niche of running. Who knew? Andy Pollin joins us from his Vermont getaway, to discuss just how full of shit Gregg Williams is, and the days when even pre-season games were blacked out. All of that, plus a bike riding pervert gets what he deserves.

Justin Verlander Says Kate Upton Lifted Him Out of Depression

“She was instrumental in me not…like, jumping off a bridge,’ he said. ‘I was depressed and kind of just upset at the world and trying to hide my own shit. She was what I needed. I don’t like to talk to people about being hurt. As athletes, you’re not supposed to. It’s an excuse. … But she was someone I could talk to. I mean, basically a therapist.”

  1. I Think We Can All Agree That Motorboating Is Good Therapy
  2. Hey Ump! Get The Bug Out of Your Ear, You Idiot!
  3. Why Wasn’t Ricky Fowler’s PGA Opening Round on Live TV?
  4. Buffalo Wild Wings Wants to Be Your Bookie
  5. Cam Newton Steps To Kelvin Benjamin Before Game Over Comments
  6. Former Redskin Safety Shawn Springs Working On Safer Helmets
  7. Dez Bryant and Browns Agree To Go On A Date Together
  8. Anthem Protests Begin Again, League Remains Paralyzed
  9. Britain Under Attack From “Drunk And Irritable” Wasps
  10. It Has Come To This….

Man Mows, Drone Watches

This is art. It will soothe you. I figured if there’s an entire category of “Powerwashing Videos” on YouTube, then by gum, why not start a “mowing videos” category. Oh wait, there is one? Well, do they film their mowing… BY DRONE!? This is the infamous “Yohoonye Field” in summer. Stressed by heat. Greener than normal due to all the rain, but with pesky tufts of relentless “nutsedge” as you can see. It’ll be nice by football season, I promise. In the meantime, I mow. Enjoy.

What Cities In The U.S. Have The Most “Nice” Weather Days?

“Moderately warm temperatures, at least partial sunshine, a light breeze, low humidity and no precipitation. In other words, we’re highlighting comfortable days that don’t require a jacket, when you don’t feel like you’re stepping into a sauna, and when you won’t get poured on or blown away.”

  1. Nicest Weather Cities in America
  2. Aaron Rodgers Calls WR Effort in Practice “Piss Poor”
  3. Dallas Not Real Keen on Paying ESPN $300K For Bowl Game
  4. Braves Broadcaster Catches Heat for Soto Age Question
  5. The Wrong Tommy Fleetwood Gets British Open Check for $154,000
  6. Jack-in-the-Box Tries Out Good Ol’ Testicle Humor
  7. Kelly Kapowski Was A…. Feminist?
  8. Rory: Tiger Will Need to “Re-Learn” How To Win
  9. Dennis Hof: “Bye, Bye… Brothel!”
  10. Browns WR Antonio Calloway Is An Idiot

“There’s No Money In Being Right”

Cold Pizza host Skip Bayless on the ESPN set in Miami, Florida on February 1, 2007. (Photo by Allen Kee/Getty Images) *** Local Caption ***

I ponder the odd economics of sports TV punditry, where both the loudly wrong and the timidly neutral can BOTH make upwards of $6 million a year. Mr. X weighs in on the upcoming football gambling season from his Maine hideaway. Ex-MLB pitchers become drug dealers. Grandmas tweet like maniacs.

The Real Finances Behind LeBron’s Fancy New Elementary School

“The coverage made it look like the whole thing is his,” said district spokesman Mark Williamson. “He did a lot, but taxpayers should know it’s their investment too.”

 

 

  1. Akron Taxpayers Will Pay For About 75%
  2. That’s Not A Bot… That’s Grandma!
  3. Mike Greenberg Is An Expert At Fence Straddling
  4. That Time Skip Bayless Said: Johnny Manziel > LeBron
  5. God Help Us, If The Redskins Ever Actually Build This Potato Chip
  6. DC Metro Orders All New Trains, Entire Fleet Needs Immediate Repairs
  7. Charles Oakley Is A Cheating Bitch at Poker
  8. Roanoke Times Sues Sportswriter…. Over His Twitter Handle
  9. Adam Sandler Is The King of Hollywood Kissers
  10. Congrats! You Won The “Underwater Challenge!”

The Ultimate “Catch-81” Who Was Better?

Both Randy Moss and Terrell Owens had their moments of being a total pain in the ass. Both guys could light it up against your team on any given Sunday. Both are now in the Hall. Notorious J-A-Y weighs in on the Ray Lewis speech, and much more. HOA disputes of lawns vs. meadows, and the Skins get desperate.

What The Heck? Redskins Home Opener Not A Sellout?

“Single Game Tickets Available Now!” reads the subject of an email the Redskins sent to their subscriber list on Monday, which includes links to purchase tickets to all eight regular season home games at FedEx Field, including the home opener Sept. 16 against the Colts. The Redskins have occasionally advertised single-game tickets before, typically claiming seats became available “due to visiting team ticket returns.”

  1. Redskins Drop “Waiting List” Myth, Start Selling Games 1 At A Time
  2. What’s The Difference Between A Lawn and a Meadow?
  3. Voter Fraud: Why Sportswriters Shouldn’t Do HOF’s Bidding
  4. He Died Doing What He Loved Most: Eating Fast Food
  5. J-Lo To Star As “Stripper Robin Hood” – I’m There!
  6. Homeless Woman Says Kellen Winslow Jr. Is A Very, Very, Bad Man
  7. The Five Big Questions for PGA Championship At Bellrieve
  8. Scammers Threaten To Reveal Your Porn Habits: Don’t Fall For It!
  9. Identical Twin Sisters Marry Identical Twin Brothers
  10. Rhino Rams SUV at Mexican Safari Park

The Phony Importance of the 3rd Pre-Season Game

NFL coaches are men of superstition, cliches, and tradition. Most of them do things because either a) everybody else is doing it or b) that’s the way it’s always been done. The Big 920’s Drew Olson and I dismantle the stupidity and group-think of how NFL teams handle training camp and August games. Urban Meyer situation has now taken a weird bounce. And Jerry Kramer (finally!) makes the Hall of Fame.