Have Fun With This Guy, Tampa!

Nothing left to do now, than just sit back in the lawn chair and grab a lemonade. Jameis Winston is going to be a spectacular bust.

When I think of what he’ll be as a pro quarterback, on a crappy team, with a bad front office behind him… well…. I think of this.

And of course, he had to pose with crablegs on the night of his draft party. Hahaha! CRABLEGS! Get it, people!?

(UPDATE: The photo was removed from his Instagram account early Friday morning! Sorry, J! The internet never sleeps!)

This photo says everything you need to know about how Jameis thinks. He still thinks that somehow HE’S THE VICTIM of a situation that was somehow blown out of proportion. He still thinks that it should have all remained a “no big deal” kinda thing to this day.

If he had stolen an iPad, would he yuk-it-up by taking a picture playing Angry Birds in his newly printed Bucs uniform? Probably not. But hey, it’s just crablegs people. Settle down. Look, I can afford all the crablegs I want now! I’m a big shot!

Oh boy… this is gonna be something spectacular.

The Bucs and coach Lovie Smith bragged about how they had interviewed almost 75 people about Winston leading up to the draft, and that the feedback was overwhelmingly positive.

Oh really? What a shock.

The fact that you have to interview 75 people in the first place, should tell you to move along and pick somebody else. Clearly, the Bucs were trying to tarp over their abundant fears about this kid with the kind of fake reassurance that comes from an artificially large number of sympathetic friends and family members.

But hey, the crablegs on draft night were just a goof. Come on, lighten up! He’s a goofy kid. A good kid! Made some mistakes, okay. But he’s a LEADER they say. Yeah, we’ll see.

This league eats dummies like Winston for lunch.

Even simple body language on a quarterback gets scrutinized. Ask Cam Newton with the towel over his head. Have you seen “Smokin’ Jay Cutler” yet??  Tony Romo would get shots from some in the media for wearing his hat backward. His HAT!

This game humiliates young quarterbacks.

Geno Smith gets goaded into f-bombing Jet fans at home. Vince Young throws his shoulder pads into the crowd, and goes missing in anger and frustration. Matt Leinart realizes the NFL is really HARD, and decides: “Fuck it, let’s do some beer bongs!” Johnny Manziel makes one start, then ends up in rehab.

But Jameis is different. He’ll be a ROCK as a pro!

Bah. There’s zero chance this guy ever earns the true respect of a lockeroom.

I think about RG3 and how his career has fallen so sadly out of orbit. He was every bit the “prospect” as Winston coming out of college. He could throw as well as Winston, and is 10x more mature, 10x more dedicated to his physical fitness, and is smarter than Winston on his dumbest day.

But RG3 has a character flaw. He true lacks humility. Oh, he SAYS all the right things, but they never come out in a genuine way.

RG3 is universally disliked in the Redskins locker-room. This fact should have stopped Tampa dead in their tracks a long time ago.

RG3 even had the tailwind of incredible rookie success behind him, something I very much doubt will grace Winston. RG3 even willingly shredded his own knee for the team in a playoff game that was going down the tubes. That act ALONE, one would think, would earn RG3 some long-lasting respect.

But it didn’t because of how Griffin played it. He played it as a drama all about him. “All In for Week 1” and other such self-absorbed nonsense.

Jameis Winston has no chance.

He’s not as smart, not as good, not as fast or strong, and not nearly as upstanding a citizen. And he’s going to throw a pallet of picks and get sacked into oblivion once he starts playing.

And his chief enabler at Florida State, Jimbo Fisher, won’t be there to run interference. The media will hound him, the fans will savage him, and the endgame will be afoot.

All that will be left is an entitled dimwit who can’t let a vulgar internet meme go un-shouted, or an Instagram photo-op with some crablegs (HA HA!, GET IT!!!!?? CRABLEGS!!!!) go un-posted.

Because you know, crime may not pay, but it sure is funny on social media!

Then some hot August day in training camp, a pissed off fan with a few Bud Light tall boys revving up his blood, will bust out into “The Lonesome Loser” by the Little River Band and say…. “Hey, Jameis, you’re the worst draft choice in NFL history. You make Heath Shuler look like an All-Star. You’re a loser.”

Then we can all sit back and say: “Hmmm. I’ve seen this movie before. I liked the original, better.”