Liar’s Impulse

I don’t get with athletes and leagues these days. They think they can lie to the world to cover up embarrassing incidents, and that nobody is going to ask any follow up questions.

The biggest such lie was Roger Goodell’s claim that nobody in the NFL offices saw the Ray Rice video until TMZ released it. They also claimed they made repeated efforts to get the video from authorities in New Jersey and casino security.

That was a lie.

The Mueller report – while unable to find a woman in the league’s offices willing to commit career suicide and admit to Mueller their boss is full of shit – did not necessarily clear the NFL.

The report just said: “We can’t prove it.”

Robert Allenby had a helluva a weekend too on the PGA Tour. It looked like he was dragged on his face for 9 holes on the back of a golf cart.

He says he was kidnapped and robbed, basically minding his own business with caddy and friend at a “wine bar.” Well, it does sure seem like he was robbed, as his credit cards were being used around town.

But robbed how? And where? And why? By who?

Did you get “pimp jumped” looking for some strange? Drug buy gone bad? In deep with gamblers?

The full story seems elusive, and now one of the homeless women who saved the golfer contradicts large parts of his tale. It also doesn’t pass the basic smell test. If you want to rob Allenby, stick a knife in his face, and be done with it.

Kidnapping is such a bother! Not to mention much more dangerous in terms of getting caught!

Then came Tiger’s “Tooth-gate.”

Monday morning, the first pics of “Toothless Tiger” came out. People on the internet were like, “what, the bloody hell???” Then about an hour later, Tiger’s agent says the following in a statement.

”During a crush of photographers at the awards podium at the World Cup event in Italy, a media member with a shoulder-mounted video camera pushed and surged toward the stage, turned and hit Tiger Woods in the mouth,” Mark Steinberg of Excel Sports said in an email. ”Woods’ tooth was knocked out by the incident.”

Oh, really?

So that picture of “Eldrick T. Spinks” which features NO facial abrasions, blood, or swelling, happened just hours ago? And there’s no video of the incident? And the photog has not been named? Nor apologized?

Hmmmm. Then came this….

“Race organizers said this was not reported to them. They added that Woods did request extra security and a snowmobile to exit the finish area, and organizers met both requests.”

”I was among those who escorted him from the tent to the snowmobile and there was no such incident,” Nicola Colli, the secretary general of the race organizing committee, told The Associated Press. ”When he arrived he asked for more security and we rounded up police to look after both him and Lindsey.”

So yeah. Expect Tiger to change the subject quickly, the next time it comes up, if at all.

Do we really care about any of all of this? Not really. But give us, the sporting public, a good little lie to untangle like a ball of yarn, and believe me, we’ll get right on it!

Skinner and The Superintendent – The Simpsons from Dave Sawyer on Vimeo.