Tiger’s DUI Arrest The Most Predictable “Shocking” Thing, Ever

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Of all the things the Tiger Woods DUI arrest is, I can say the one thing it is most definitely NOT and that is… “sad.”

The ending of “Marley and Me” is sad.

Tiger Woods further exposing who he is, and what his values are to the world? Not sad.

There’s an old saying about adversity not building character, but revealing it. The same has been said about golf. It reveals who you really are, it doesn’t change you.

Tiger Woods has long been revealed as somebody who believes “the rules do not apply” to him. And he has shown a repeated and voracious appetite for breaking those rules.

Have a giant boulder moved out of your way by fans in the gallery? Sure, why not?
Run rampant with Perkins waitresses and porn stars behind your wife’s back? Sure, why not?
Bring a notorious PED quack down from Canada to “treat” your knee? Sure, why not?

And now you have this. A man worth $740 million who lives in a $60 million beachfront estate, somehow can’t get a free ride home after getting hammered at the restaurant he owns in Florida? What, no Uber?  and he can’t get around town safely without falling asleep at the wheel on the wrong side of town?

Woods lives 11 minutes away, exactly 5.2 miles according to Google Maps. He was stopped by police on the other side of sleepy Jupiter Florida at 3 a.m. driving erratically. But it was just a “bad mix of medication.” He swears. Whatever.  (Well, give him credit. He aced the breathalyzer with a .000. However, I’ve been told the powerful mix of opiods he is on, do say you should not be driving. So there’s that…)

I’ve already seen some amatuer psychologists claim this is a “cry for help.” Others have said we should spare the snark, and instead offer sympathy. Some have even said we should “pray for him.” Meh. I pray for kids with cancer. Not this guy.

Need I remind everyone: he has been charged with a CRIME.

On a very surface level, it is possible to be somewhat sympathetic about a guy who has been stripped of his identity at an exceedingly young age relative to his professional peers. Without golf, what IS Tiger Woods? Well, he’s THAT guy you see right there. A balding, droop eyed single dad making bad decisions. Out of work, but with a pile of money and no real friends.

I’d feel sad for him, if he were only a somewhat innocent victim of fate. This guy’s not Lou Gehrig. His bad back is a bed of his own making. From the almost certain use of PEDs, to the insane Navy Seal training that was his early mid-life crisis, to the fact that he routinely ignored doctors advice to take his recovery slowly.

In other words, he didn’t exactly get hit by a bus like Ben Hogan.

Tiger Woods is 41. He has a long time left on this earth, being “Tiger Woods.”

Who that guy is exactly, is up to him.

7 COMMENTS

  1. I’m actually willing to buy “bad reaction to medicine” until shown otherwise. This in no way changes any of your observations- there’s a reason that pain / back medication has all those warnings. BUT this also tells me his back ain’t right yet. And that is the story that’s getting buried at the moment

  2. If Tiger were an ordinary Joe, an incident like this would lead to no unsupervised visits with his kids. But because he’s famous, and wealthy, nothing will happen.

  3. I often wonder how many titles this PED Cheat stole from more deserving golfers and their families. I know for sure that Wally Joyner was hosed out of countless accolades by Bighead Bonds. Rocco Mediate.

  4. If you look at it from another angle… He has shown addictive behaviors all his life. He has just swapped one thing for another time after time, especially after his crutch passed away.

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