A Whole New Meaning For The Term “Griffining”


When Robert Griffin III was a Redskin, it was clear he had trouble reading defenses from the pocket. Now that he’s out of the NFL, it’s apparent he also can’t read the room. Or reality.

I have no animus against Griffin, although I admit to a morbid kind of fascination with his ability to craft an alternate timeline than the one the rest of us are watching. It’s always sunny in Robert’s world, I guess. Nothing is ever really his fault, and his notion of “dedication to craft” lasts about as long as a typical millennial’s attention span.

Griffin got flown up to ESPN this week to get run through the infamous “Bristol Car Wash.” He appeared an multiple shows over the course of two days. Most of the questions were boilerplate, if not softballs. This was no intervention.

I guess ESPN thought it might be newsworthy, that in a season where 52 different quarterbacks leaguewide (and counting) have seen significant playing time, how is it possible that Griffin hasn’t been picked up by somebody – anybody!

Well…. the more you hear Robert talk, the more you realize why. Griffin claims he had two (semi) solid offers this season. One was from the Cardinals, where he didn’t think starting out 4th string was going to lead to anything. Well, given how bad Blaine Gabbert has been these last 4 weeks for the Cards, Griffin might have landed a prime chance to start all of December. If he played well, that could lead to a solid offer this winter from somebody.

But… nah. Why bother, right? Robert always knows best. It’s also why he claims he turned down the Ravens offer to start pre-season Game #1 against his former team, the Redskins in August. Robert was quick to wrap himself in a cloak of false modesty saying he could have “done the selfish thing” and said yes, but that he didn’t think one week was enough to prepare properly to learn the Ravens offense.

Bruh. Really? It’s PRE-season game… number… ONE. You can’t find a softer landing spot than that.

So he turned down the only two offers he had this summer, claimed that he was a peace with the possibility he will never play football again, but then in the very next moment tells ESPN that he’s rested and ready, and could actually help a playoff bound team with QB issues… RIGHT NOW!

Yup. You got it. He went on ESPN and basically begged the Eagles for a shot.


This is where even the most hard-core PRO Robert fans have a hard time staying on board with this guy. You just want to hustle your way onto a playoff team? Really? Do you not realize that IF the Eagles wanted to sign you, they know how to pick up a phone and reach your agent? Do you know that asking for that shot on ESPN makes you look desperate and delusional?

And what about all that “I need time to absorb an offense” stuff? Ah, never mind. It all makes sense to Robert, I suppose.

Midway through this season, Griffin decided to get away from tweeting motivational popcorn quotes and engaging in feuds with his ex-Redskin teammates, and to start tweeting supposedly insightful “QB on QB Stuff” on all of the “film” he’s still studying on the best QB’s in the NFL.

That lasted about a week. Then he stopped. Now the tweets appear to have been deleted. Oh well….

The brutal reality is that Griffin has to fight his way back into the league. If you ask me, Canada is his best bet. Hell, it’s what Flutie did. Tommy Maddux played in the freaking XFL before getting a second stint with the Steelers.

Griffin had me totally fooled with his fake leadership, and fake sincerity when he arrived here in DC. I think I even said he had “uncommon maturity” for his age. Ooof. What a sucker I was.

I’d guess the league’s take on Robert Griffin III is roughly the same as mine is now: a guy who will say all the right things, and then follow through on doing very few of them.


  1. RGMe is afraid of competition, pure and simple. Most guys in his position would be grateful for any chance at a roster spot, with the intention of proving to the coaches that they can beat out 2 of the other 4 QBs on the roster. Not RGMe, though. Clearly he listens to his father too much. You’d think with his massive child support/alimony payments going to the mother of his child after he ditched her for a model/athlete, that he would be desperate to earn more income, regardless of the source. Guess I was wrong…as we all were about this faker.

  2. This was the most embarrassing performance of Wonderbob’s extremely embarrassing career since 13. It was so full of lies, snipes, distortions and befuddlement that you have to carefully dissect it word by word, as if you’re dealing with a career politician’s campaign speech. You know every word will be a lie. You simply have to figure out all the angles to know what the specific lies are and why they are lying again.
    He obviously did not have “offers” from anyone or he would be in uniform somewhere. And the hack at Kirk’s toes by dismissing his leadership abilities just took the Cake of Patheticness, when Bob threw everyone under the bus during his time in DC, while sulking, pouting and insanely comparing himself to Aaron Rodgers. Not exactly General Patton there himself.

    The only question I wanted answered in this desperate PR nonsense was “Why are you a delusional fruitcake?”. That and perhaps “How can you be so toxic that even the Browns got rid of you!?! What’s wrong with you?”

    • I know a golfer who won everything in high school, had success in college, went to Florid and got his ass kicked, packed his trash and is now assistant pro somewhere.
      Top-Dawg is easy. Work, humiliation, and diligence are hard.
      Thing is, now that he’s 29 he has grown by 2″ and 40lbs and is a man now. Imagine if he’s been grinding Woody Austin-style for the past 100 months? Ben R. Almost died on a motorcycle and as long as he’s not playing Tebow he usually wins.


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