“So Here’s How We’re Gonna Play It…”

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Watching this team, is like watching a David Blaine TV special.

You just KNOW the tricks are bullshit. Yet, you still can’t figure them out.

I can’t quite noodle this week’s “Concussion Trick” with RG3. My gut instinct is that the team invented a non-concussion, tried to get the QB to “buy in” (he was unconvincing) and then pulled the rug out at the last minute, starting the better (but nobody says is a “franchise” caliber QB) Kirk Cousins instead.

Pulled the rug out at 7:06 p.m. on a Friday night.

Never dismiss the timing of things like this. I seriously doubt the independent neurologist, woke up Friday and had a nagging feeling he had somehow mis-read the “data.” And even if he had, I can’t imagine he was grinding away all day at his desk, and then burst out of his office with the “not cleared” conclusion just as the chattering class was closing out their radio shows on Friday.

At this point, there’s only two possible scenarios: a) incompetence or b) conspiracy.

Pick your flavor, and enjoy.

A: This football team knowingly practiced a concussed franchise QB – all week! – just 3 days after leaving a game. Then this team issued an “all-clear” press release, without making sure every doctor who had a say in this, was completely on board. Only then to watch it all crumble on the day before the pre-season “dress rehearsal.”

B: This football team invented a concussion for RG3 almost the moment he didn’t spring up after that sack/fumble against the Lions. They did so likely with some degree of pre-meditation, given how they have begun actively restricting Griffin’s media appearances for fear of what eye-rolling thing he may say next. (See above photo, where Redskins PR Director Tony Wylie had to lay some groundwork for Griffin’s NEXT media availability after his “I’m the best QB in the league” statements to a local TV station.) They “sold” the concussion to the media unconvincingly through the week (see Gruden: “I have no idea”), in order to see how Griffin would look in practice (my guess: awful). Then, the team cleared RG3 on Thursday to calm the media waters all day Friday, only to pull the rip-cord at happy-hour, with every possible Redskins official under the 24-hour pre-game blackout ensuring we’d be deprived of clarifying answers to anything until Monday.

My vote is “B”. But that doesn’t mean I still fully understand the trick. Did Gruden finally “win” the battle with the Dan/Bruce “give Robert a chance!” faction? Are maybe Dan/Bruce starting to sweat having to pay out that $16 million 5th year option, which is only guaranteed for injury? Did Griffin himself (or his family) call the neurologist and ask for a second opinion, with a “hint hint” indication that he still wasn’t feeling great?

It seems unlikely, given Griffin’s tweet on Friday night about having faith through uncertain times, but never dismiss the QB’s chess playing abilities off the field. Maybe Griffin is worried about getting cut, and if he’s not cleared for play they can’t do that until he is. Maybe Griffin now realizes his only hope is with another team, and so it’s best to not put any more bad outings (or beatings) on tape.

Whatever it is, I gotta admit: IT’S GOT ME STARING AT THE TV IN AMAZEMENT! Like when Blaine whipped out his “self-tying” shoelaces trick. That one FLOORED me for a while, until I looked it up. There’s a separate set of fully tied shoelaces up his pantlegs, and a drawstring in his pocket to retract the untied pair.

(Ooops. Sorry. “Spoiler alert.”)

Move over Dr. Andrews, the Redskins have outdone themselves with this one.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Dammit, Czabe! I believed in magic until the last paragraph! Seriously, though. As some analysts have said, what Dr. would risk/throw away all of his years of study and career just to appease a football team? I believe those execs out there are definitely, lying, conniving, individuals and have done SOMETHING but I don’t believe they could manufacture a concussion and get a Dr. to go along with it.

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