Yeah. That’s me. Passing around a fresh bottle of Bulleit Bourboun on the CzabeVegas partybus en route to the clubs. I wanted to “get things started” and said we weren’t going anywhere until the 40 of us drained the bottle.
By the time I was flying home on Saturday, things started going from bad to worse, to oh-my-god-this-is-awful!
But would I do all over again? Hell yeah!
What a great weekend we had at the fabulous Palazzo Resort in Las Vegas. Great people, great rooms, great venue to watch, great food, great weather… hell, the only thing that wasn’t great were the games. Mostly snoozers. With a couple of teams just throwing away wins (I’m looking at YOU, Wisconsin and Gonzaga).
I went the following on my bets….
W Suns over Lakers – $100
W Villanova over Miami – $100
L Texas A&M over Oklahoma – $200
L Maryland over Kansas – $200
W Oregon over Duke – $100
L Underdog Parlay WI/IU – $100
L Gonzaga over Syracuse – $200
Yeah. Sucks. And no, I didn’t get the balls to push $1,000 through the window this year. Didn’t have a good feel on anything. And that was proven correct.
I did sit down for about 5 or 6 blackjack sessions through the weekend. And on at least 3 of them, I walked away with a little more than I started – usually $150 on a $100 buy in.
I also played some $5 craps at some shithole called “Ellis Island.” It’s a mini-casino, INSIDE OF A MOTEL 8. I kid you not. Place was a dump, but one of our guys INSISTED on it. The only redeeming part of the visit, was seeing a couple of listeners “Mitch and Spoon” playing craps, and the rotating dealers who doubled as pop star impersonators.
It was glorified karaoke, with these dealers all dressed up like fake celebs (Mariah Carey, Elvis, Shakira) taking turns on a little box stage to do one-set songs.
Anyhow, at some point rolling the bones, I knew I was up about $50 of my original $100 buy in.
I should have quit then. But you know what happened, right?
So it dawned on my as this experience repeated itself through the weekend: I need a global gambling strategy. And I think I am going to call it: “Always win.”
What does “Always win.” Mean? C’mon. Figure it out.
Always. WIN.
So let’s say I buy in at $100, I will play until I get up $50, and then walk away. If I start out losing, then I will rally my way to a small profit and….. walk away.
Walking away always feels like a bitch move at the table. You have to stop the game to get cashed out. You have to then wander around like a freakin’ zombie looking for the cashier cage – which is always hidden in casinos like it’s an Indiana Jones movie.
But hey…. WINNING. Always… win.
That’s going to be my new strategy. We’ll see how it works. At least I had a couple of slot machine scores. A $27 win on ONE PULL at Ellis Island, and a $11.50 win at Palazzo.
I cashed out both times. The machine didn’t look at me like a bitch. It didn’t care.
As for the overall trip, I can’t say enough to the people who stepped up, and came along. We had at least 100 people who stayed at the Palazzo, met me at Lagasse’s and some 40 that joined us on the bus trip. No, it’s not enough to fill a ballroom, but it’s a good number considering all of the stars that need to align for people to make a trip like this.
You gotta have some money, you gotta take some time off work, you gotta find a babysitter…. and on and on.
I’ve always said there’s only two kinds of people in the world: those who POST, and those who DON’T.
You people posted. I can’t thank you enough. Also, thanks to Nate Gray of the Palazzo for arranging things. This was a relatively small “event” for an elite venue like Lagasse’s which hosts celebrities and star athletes all the time – but he made us feel like we were the most important group in the building.
As always, CzabeVegas 2017 is certainly in my hopes, dreams… and plans. But we are all “year to year” as they say, so look for firm details in December or so.

I dropped in on Game Night with Matt Perrault who is doing a great job of being our late night, permanent West Coast presence on Yahoo Sports Radio out of the Lagasse’s studio.

This was the reaction when replay, once again, proved as worthless as tits on a bull when Syracuse almost got screwed against Gonzaga.

There is nothing – NOTHING – like the sunken jumbo-tron and sports book at Lagasse’s anywhere on the strip. Just magnificent!

Vaughn and Irena Schultz (a lawyer and retail manager from Pittsburgh) and Matt and Kylie McCardle (both doing “god’s work” on Capitol Hill) were great company. Both guys stood up in each others’ wedding, and used this weekend as a get-together.

The Hoosier Mafia. They were all smiles, until Carolina started to bury them. Props for reppin’ the Candy Stripe pants!

My homeboys Bob Madden of 102.9 the Hog in Milwaukee, and Eric Gitter, regional rep for Taylor Made. There were a LOT of pant pissing stupid/funny moments through the weekend.

The crew of 40, rollin’ out to get on the Party Bus.

Happy, happy, Badgers. Until, it all fell apart.

Joe O’Neill of ESPN radio in Albuquerque. I promised Joe: you clear my show on your station, I will make a “tour stop” and go on the Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul reality tour.

Eric Madlung won our inaugural “Hope for Lamar, Charity Classic.” He’s the best damn putter I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t hurt, that he’s been 7 years sober. Just sayin’…..

The legendary “Andy in Indy” caller/texter. He brought his spitfire Mrs. Andy with him, and she drinks bourbon on the rocks. #keeper

How many “sports bars” do you know, where you can get a succulent ribeye like this, the size of a freakin’ catchers’ mitt!? The joy of Lagasse’s. Best sports bar menu in America.

The legendary “Mr. X” – UVA alum, who was wound tighter than a drum when he was sweating out a first half “under” for a cool dime. His over/under baseball release for the year: Cleveland Indians, OVER 85 wins.

Nothing says Vegas, quite like lounge bands. No, they are not good. But drunk enough, you’ll sit down and listen. Really drunk: you might even dance.

These are the die hards who made it to “stop 2” of the “club tour” at The Chateau at Paris. Props to them. And me….

People often ask: “Man, how can you stand going to Vegas, and having to get up at dawn to play golf.” Well, here’s my answer. It’s nothing short of magical.

Here’s the bus tour photo at the iconic Vegas sign. Because the design was “gifted” to the city many years ago, it gets reprinted and modified everywhere without any rights fees owed. http://time.com/3829207/welcome-to-fabulous-las-vegas-sign-betty-willis/

And that’s a wrap! Hopefully I’ll see you in 2017!
2 Comments
Ron Scheucher
Hello Mr. Czban Ron Scheucher from Sunny Las Vegas Nevada. I so wanted to thank you for having me apart of the first day of golf with all you guys. You’re a wonderful host a wonderful sportscaster and hopefully we can do it again. When the time is right I’d love to spend some extra time with you guys and do it up hard smiles. Hope all is well on the East Coast good luck with everything you do and have a blessed 2016. AKA Shoe Fly
Paula
Boy Steve I feel for you when you come to watch the Badgers take on Ohio State. Bets??