For All of the Nonsense, I Must Admit: Sports Keeps Getting Awesomer All The Time

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The above photo was from Sunday’s game at “JerryWorld” – an obscene monument to Texas-sized commercial excess. But at least that stadium was far less of a taxpayer rapery than most others these days.

It’s an awesome photo. Just stare at it, will ya?

To quote the Simpsons when Cowboy Bob was selling Homer the finest RV ever made (one with FOUR deep-fryers on board, “one for each part of the chicken!”) …. “man built this!”

Man built JerryWorld. From the botox-faced egomaniac owner who dreamed it, to the architects who sketched it up, and the engineers who said: “Hell… why not put a BIG TV in the middle, Jerrah?”

This happens because in America, we always want better. And the public demands it. This is why we have nice things.

Oh sure, back in the day, we took what we could get. Like look at these suckers in the 1960 World Series, watching from a nearby Cathedral rooftop!

pitt_cathedral_60series

“Hey ump! YOU SUCK! DID YOU HEAR ME! YOUUUUU SUUUUUCKK!”

So now we have the Patriots and Colts this Sunday night, the most “circle-the-calendar” game in NFL history. Recent play suggests the Patriots are primed to keep throttling these midwest hayseeds like they have been for the last 4 meetings. The Patriots have scored 45, 42, 43, and 59 over that span, winning by an AVERAGE of 4 touchdowns each time.

sketch_cookies

In light of that, I think it’s probably not a the best idea that local bakeries in Indy are making “Tom Brady Ugly Court Sketch Cookies” and “Broken Cell Phone Pop Tarts” but hey…. you gotta bake your smack talk while you can.

So this might be a dumb question: is Roger Goodell coming to this game? What, he’s “tied up” at the moment, says his secretary?

goodell_stake

I predict the Patriots win, in a close-to-the-spread game, something like 35-24.

I also predict the game demolishes a boatload of ratings “records” no matter how you want to count them.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

JIMMY MASTERLOCK PICKS
Week 1: 1-3
Week 2: 1-3
Week 3: 2-2
Week 4: 2-2
Week 5: 2-1-1
OVERALL: 8-11-1

This Week…

Don’t Think Don’t Blink, Lay The Lumber
Patriots -10 @ Colts

50-Star Winless Home Favorite of Less than a TD Special
Lions -3 vs. Bears

The Bounceback Shocker
Seahawks -7 vs. Panthers

Thermonuclear Live Home Dog
Bills +3.5 vs. Bengals

And as always kids… “Bet with you head… no over it!”

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Steve Czaban is a 25 year sports radio veteran, who hosts an afternoon drive show in Washington D.C. "Czabe" also writes and edits his own commentaries for www.czabe.com and other on-line and print publications. He can be reached at czabe@yahoo.com.

1 COMMENT

  1. Long time Pirate fans will recognize that B&W pic. That’s Forbes Field, site of the first (and one of only two) World Series walk off HRs by Bill Mazeroski.

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