Pinehurst, Like No Place On Earth

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So I’m back from Pinehurst, where our 12th annual Malcolm Memorial Toon-a-mint has concluded. As you can see from this photo (Mid-South GC, Hole #2) we had absurdly great weather once again for our beer-splashed, scorecard bludgeoning 5-rounds-in-3-days golf-athon.

The spirit of the “Malcolm” – as always – is to somehow, just simply GET THE JOB DONE!

And our winner this year, was one Bradley Turner from Richmond Virginia. You may remember Brad from such exciting creations like “The Gargantubracket” (yep, same genius who helped me create that thing!).

Well, Brad was one of three “Noobs” on the trip. And knowing how coveted the invite to this private event can be, he wanted to make sure he didn’t do anything – ANYTHING – to jeopardize a possible return invite.

So on the 1st hole, second shot of the entire weekend…… HE ACCIDENTALLY SNAPS A SHAFT punching out of the pine trees. Shaft and iron head ricochet back at his FACE, at about Mach-5.

pinehurst2014_turner_bloodface
“It’s just a little blood. Some bactine and a band-aid, I’ll be fine.”

Brad did not miss a HOLE the rest of the weekend.

Brad Turner, is my hero.

Even though he – like most of us – got our lunch handed to us in a Chinese takeout box at the incredibly restored Mid-Pines Golf Club, he bravely lashed it around the best he could, while one eye slowly… slowwwwwly closed up like a Mike Tyson shiner.

Here’s how he looked when it was over.

pinehurst2014_face
“First rule of Fight Club. Do not talk about “Fight Club.”

Technically, Luke Sheehan of Houston, Texas – son of longtime Malcolm trip member Jeff “Cappy” Sheehan, and currently on the Stephen F. Austin college golf team – actually won the tournament. By shooting 67-71-67 while not making a single bogey at The National.

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The first of hopefully, many “Majors” for young Luke Sheehan.

But that’s what D-1 college players are SUPPOSED to do, especially against a bunch of middle aged weekend hackers.

Brad Turner “won the weekend” with his face. End of contest. #gamer

Here’s a quick sampling of a few photos, of a weekend that always goes by way too fast…

pinehurst2014_turner_lash pinehurst2014_czabe_swing pinehurst2014_lyle pinehurst_ride_home

 

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