Lady Gaga: The Ultimate Conundrum

So here was a conversation that actually happened over way too many free Don Julio tequila shots here in Mexico at the Hard Rock.

“Lady Gaga. Would you do her?”

I was like: “Of course, for god’s sake, she’s Lady Gaga!” Granted, she’s weird and probably smells like a farmer’s market with her costumes off, but she’s still famous, and not totally wretched, so.. yeah. Of course.

But some of the fellas were like “no way” and just wouldn’t budge, even though I tried remind them that I am not asking if she was “hot” just if you would, if you had the chance.

Now, the wildcard would be if you got a title shot, but she’d show at your door wearing whatever and god knows what. If that’s the case, then even I might waver because if nothing else Lady Gaga has proved two undeniable things…

1. She can write and execute great pop riffs that sell lots of records.
2. She’s quite skilled at making herself look really ugly when she wants to.

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About the Author

Steve Czaban is a 25 year sports radio veteran, who hosts an afternoon drive show in Washington D.C. He also appears on "Bob and Brian" in Milwaukee. "Czabe" also writes and edits his own commentaries for www.czabe.com and other on-line and print publications. He can be reached at czabe@yahoo.com.

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3 Comments

  1. ” not totally wretched”

    What a perfect way of describing her. I’d insert a gif of a slow, congratulatory clap here, but I’d probably botch it and crash the site.

  2. Pop music lost its credibility when it was uncovered that the pre-packaged entertainment turd Milli Vanilli was nothing more than two pretty boys lip-synching to vocals performed by studio musicians, and was forced to return their Grammys as a result. Sadly, Rob, one of the dancing marionettes, killed himself due to the embarrassment. I don’t wish that on anyone.

    Since then, popular music has became a complete electronic schlock hurdy-gurdy run by suits who look to take advantage of unsuspecting casual music fans. They utilize every proven gimmick to sell those downloads. Of course their most powerful ace in their old marked deck is, of course, sex.

    Ever since I first heard Aerosmith’s “Back in the Saddle” on my cousin’s 8-Track, I was hooked on hard rock, then heavy metal, then speed/death/power metal. Anything song that had pure energy and strength like black coffee was pure delight. I hated Top 40 and all bubble gum.

    Having said that, Lady Gaga is nothing more than another industry creation designed to freak out people, but her shock has worn thin. “Look at me! I’m weird! Boo!” Color me unmoved.

    I think we’ve seen the last of the greats and they’re in their 50s and 60s now. Black Sabbath, Rush, and Metallica are up there in age, but they’re still selling records and filling arenas.

  3. “She’s quite skilled at making herself look really ugly when she wants to.” I think it’s actually just the opposite. She starts at really ugly…. but as the first picture shows, given the right treatment (which must take many many hours) and lighting she can look nice. But no thanks

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