Yeah…. Democracy!

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Well kids, I hope your preferred candidate for President won last night! Oh, the excitement! Or, the horror! HOW will you press on with your LIFE, in the wake of defeat? Or better yet, WHY will your life be any better or different basking in the glow of victory?

I have largely checked out of American politics, since the caliber of our leaders has plummeted drastically in my lifetime.

If I could change our system, I would make just three simple tweaks. Granted, the system would still be flawed. But it would be simpler, and quicker.

1. Presidential Elections May Only Last ONE Year (12 Months).
Party primaries for 6 months, general for 6 more. Or you can split it 7/5 if that makes more sense. Why don’t we get better people who want to run for president? Time and money. Nobody with any real life skills wants to shake hands and kiss babies for 3 years straight! And only candidates with a lot of party donations backing them can afford it. So what do you get? Career politicians, backed by coprorate and party money. Or, assholes, in short.

2. Any Senator, Congressman, or Governor is INELIGIBLE To Be President
Again, we’re drawing from a pool of mediocre people who can’t cut it in the real world. You want to be a politican? Great. You have your choices. But for a president, we’re gonna draw from a pool of people whose life won’t end just because they lose an election.

3. One Day, One Vote
All of this early balloting, ballots by mail bullshit is the worst. Aside from military ballots, I say if you want to vote, take a few hours on ONE day to do it. We can make Election Day a national holiday if needed. And of course you need a valid ID to vote. Plenty of things in life require valid ID. This should be one of them. And not only that, but I would mark every voters right hand with a big purple ink stain like they do in the middle east. Electronic voting machines are THE WORST idea ever. Anything that is hackable, WILL be hacked. Have we learned nothing? You can’t hack a stack of paper ballots, watched over by citizens representing each party. You don’t like any of this? Don’t vote. The republic doesn’t need your opinion.

Meanwhile, I leave you with some thoughts on democracy from the great early 20th century writer H.L. Mencken – aka the bitter bard of Baltimore.

H.L. Mencken is often regarded as one of the most influential American writers of the early 20th century. Here are some of his timeless quotes on politics, democracy, government and elections.

1. The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

2. Government is a broker in pillage, and every election is a sort of advance auction in stolen goods.

3. Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

4. Democracy, too, is a religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.

5. Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

6. Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

7. Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

8. If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

9. As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

10. All government, of course, is against liberty.

About the Author

Steve Czaban is a 25 year sports radio veteran, who hosts an afternoon drive show in Washington D.C. He also appears on "Bob and Brian" in Milwaukee. "Czabe" also writes and edits his own commentaries for www.czabe.com and other on-line and print publications. He can be reached at czabe@yahoo.com.

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5 Comments

  1. I don’t understand the problem with early voting. Why should it take 2 hours to vote? I early voted and was done in 20 minutes. Czabe doesn’t want to fight traffic for an hour after a game but wants to spend 2 hours waiting to vote. Dumb.

  2. Except we supposedly do not live in a democracy? It’s suppose to be a “Constitutional Republic”…

    Of course you left out Mencken’s best quote: “Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.” A point to ponder with the Soros backed riots taking place….

  3. I like it. Totally agree on making voting day a holiday. And of course, Mencken is ALWAYS right. I’m kinda divided on the Electoral College too, but one thing’s for sure: You don’t change the rules AFTER the game is played!

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