Something is just not adding up on this Roger Goodell contract extension thing. Either that, or I’m as bad at “big picture math” as I am at.. well… REAL math. (Awful).
Goodell is asking for $50M a year in his extension, along with free airplane rides for life, and doctor visits for himself and Jane for life, as they grow old and gray and saggy together.
Any big contract for a coach, or executive, includes “throw ins” that make you look greedy, but really don’t cost the employer much – if anything. Sure, Goodell can afford his own fucking plane, and all the boob jobs and penis enlargements he likes for his family (along with you know, actual health care) on a $50M salary. That’s not the point. Sure, I can afford it, but you can too. So… gimme.
I’m just looking at the outrageous $50M price tag. Why? How? Explain?
Not only is that way out of line with what other sports commissioners make (Adam Silver is reportedly paid between $8 million and $11 million, for example), but very few ACTUAL CEOS make as much as $50M in annual salary.
Now… a caveat: those other CEOs have stock options and such, which push them well into that Goodellian range. But the NFL is not a publicly traded company, so they can’t give Goodell stock options even if they wanted to. (He’d probably eat them anyway, he’s so stupid).
Therein lies my point: why pay Goodell like he’s the head of an actual COMPANY, when he’s not! He’s just AN ADMINISTRATOR! He adds very little value to the league as a whole, and actually serves as a net-minus to the brand’s likability because every fan hates his guts. Every one.
Furthermore, nobody is coming after Goodell in the business world to turn around their company. Have you seen any headlines lately like: “Nokia Eyes Goodell To Boost Sagging Cell Phone Division?”
Fuck… and… no.
So who are the NFL owners bidding AGAINST for this buffoon? And what happened to the stingiest league ever, when it comes to money? Have you ever read one of the league’s proposals to a possible SuperBowl host city? The phrase “at no cost to the league” comes up more often than “amen” at Sunday service.
This is the league where the owner of the Giants mused that cameras placed in the endzone pylons might be too expensive. Yeah, he really said that.
So why throw away $40M annually on a commissioner? You could get a competent CEO – with actual business experience, acumen, and some higher degrees than just Goodell’s econ major from Washington and Jefferson College – to do a better job, for $10M a year.
They could get this guy or gal, tomorrow.
So why? Why, Goodell? Why Goodell today, Goodell tomorrow, Goodell forever?
As Jerry Jones pointed out this week, there’s no RUSH on this contract extension. The old one isn’t up for 18 months!
I don’t buy the argument that Goodell is the perfect human shield, to keep fans’ ire away from the owners. For one, plenty of fans hate their owners anyway. For another, this is not Vince McMahon and pro wrestling.
The NFL doesn’t need a “heel” at the top of the org chart to loathe. Goodell himself, his existence, his incompetence, and surely by now his outrageous salary, serve as a significant drag on The Shield’s brand.
If you don’t think some fans are watching less NFL, or taking an extended break in part because of Goodell, you are wrong. I talk to these fans everyday, I get amazingly detailed emails explaining the how and the why of it all.
But now the NFL’s Compensation Committee presses ahead, even under the threat of Jerry’s never-gonna-happen-lawsuit, to shovel this guy another $200 million mountain….. (“uh… don’t forget the plane!”)
I don’t get it.
My only rational theory, and it’s a far fetched one, but it’s all I got… is that Goodell has something on the NFL owners. Something, really, really bad. Possible collusion. Fraud. Racketeering? I don’t know. It just seems like the owners want Roger Stokoe Goodell INSIDE the tent, pissing out, then suddenly OUTSIDE the tent, pissing in.