In honor of everybody making a nice “Top 50” Super Bowl list this year, I figured I’d make the one list that I am sure the NFL wishes nobody made.
Hey kids, how about the Top 50 criminals to have ever played on Super Bowl Sunday!!
Now, I’ll be honest. This list has a few “stretches” in it. Some guys never were convicted. Some guys not even charged. And some of the guys on the list, aren’t really bad guys, they just made a mistake that I am sure they regret for a lifetime.
You may think I have some guys ranked too high, others, too low. You are free to quibble with me, but not attack. It’s just a stupid list, people, relax.
If I’ve missed any glaring omissions, please let me know. Our station intern Liam did a bangup job of google searching all these guys, and you too can do your own research to refresh your memory.
I plan to print this sheet on gold letterhead and make sure it reaches the desk of one Roger S. Goodell. Where I am sure, he’ll read it, under that desk. The spot where he does most of his best work. Hiding.
As I always say, the league is populated by about 85% of guys who you would love to have as a neighbor, and the other 15% are… well.. let’s just say “interesting fellas.”
1.. Aaron Hernandez: First degree murder.
2.. Darren Sharper: Serial Rapist
3.. Ray Lewis: Obstruction of justice, double murder case.
4.. Dave Meggett: 30 years in prison, multiple sexual assaults.
5.. *Marvin Harrison: Probably killed a dude. Probably.
6.. Jamal Lewis: 4 months in prison, cocaine distribution.
7.. Aldon Smith: One man recurring crime and DUI spree
8.. Barrett Robbins: Attempted murder of 3 cops, shot three times.
9.. Darrell Russell: Charged with videotaping rape of drugged victim. Dead.
10.. Jim Dunaway: “The Unknown OJ Simpson”. Google him.
11.. Lawrence Taylor: Cocaine, statutory rapist.
12.. Leonard Little: Manslaughter DUI.
13.. Nate Newton: Caught with 213 pounds of weed in trunk. Pounds.
14.. Stanley Wilson: 22 years in prison for stealing $130,000 from home burglary.
15.. Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson: Cocaine use with teenage girls, sexual assault.
16.. Donte Stallworth: Manslaughter DUI.
17.. Timmy Smith: 2 years in prison for selling cocaine
18.. Nate Webster: 12 years in prison, sex with 15 year old.
19.. Plaxico Burress: Gun violation, tax evasion.
20.. Mark Ingraham Sr.: 7 years in prison, money laundering.
21.. Mercury Morris: Cocaine trafficking.
22.. Bam Morris: 30 months, drug trafficking. Violate parole, got 10 years.
23.. Justin Strzelczyk: Killed himself doing 90 mph into truck on highway.
24.. Ahmad Bradshaw: Parole violations, drug suspensions.
25.. Warren Sapp: Domestic battery charges, prostitution arrest.
26.. Dexter Mannley: 3 years in jail, recurring drug charges.
27.. Irving Fryar: 5 years in jail, mortgage fraud.
28.. Ray McDonald: 2 sexual assault cases still pending.
29.. Tank Johnson: Lengthy rap sheet
30.. Johnny Jolly: Numerous drug arrests, sentenced to 6 years in prison.
31.. Marshawn Lynch: Hit and run DUI as a Bill, another as Seahawk.
32.. Jimmy Hitchcock: 2 years in jail, mortgage fraud.
33.. Aqib Talib: Charged with shooting at man fleeing his house in Texas.
34.. Donte Whitner: Resisting arrest, harassing his girlfriend.
35.. Michael Irvin: Cocaine charges.
36.. Ray Rice: Punching his wife.
37.. *Jim Brown: Problems with women. I count 1964 NFL championship!
38.. Bill Romanowski: BALCO client, roid user, various altercations with teammates.
39.. Tom Cable: Violently assaulted member of his staff as Raider HC.
40.. John Matusczak: Raging drug addict, assaulted Raider assistant coach.
41.. Kerry Collins: DUI arrest, racial slur with teammates.
42.. Barry Switzer: Caught with gun in his bag at airport checkpoint.
43.. TJ Ward: Arrested for throwing glass at bartender. Community service.
44.. Vance Johnson: Arrested for failing to pay alimony, child support.
45.. *Mark Chmura: Probably had hot tub sex with teenager. Probably.
46.. Lance Briggs: Crashed car, left scene, reported it stolen.
47.. *Ben Roethlisberger: Might have raped a girl in a bar. Maybe.
48.. Jared Allen: Multiple DUIs, suspension.
49.. Sebastian Janikowski: Collegiate date raper, cop briber.
50.. Eugene Robinson: soliciting a prostitute, night before game.