The Top-50 Super Bowl Criminals Of All-Time!

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In honor of everybody making a nice “Top 50” Super Bowl list this year, I figured I’d make the one list that I am sure the NFL wishes nobody made.

Hey kids, how about the Top 50 criminals to have ever played on Super Bowl Sunday!!

Yaaaaaayyyyyy!

Now, I’ll be honest. This list has a few “stretches” in it. Some guys never were convicted. Some guys not even charged. And some of the guys on the list, aren’t really bad guys, they just made a mistake that I am sure they regret for a lifetime.

You may think I have some guys ranked too high, others, too low. You are free to quibble with me, but not attack. It’s just a stupid list, people, relax.

If I’ve missed any glaring omissions, please let me know. Our station intern Liam did a bangup job of google searching all these guys, and you too can do your own research to refresh your memory.

I plan to print this sheet on gold letterhead and make sure it reaches the desk of one Roger S. Goodell. Where I am sure, he’ll read it, under that desk. The spot where he does most of his best work. Hiding.

As I always say, the league is populated by about 85% of guys who you would love to have as a neighbor, and the other 15% are… well.. let’s just say “interesting fellas.”

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1.. Aaron Hernandez: First degree murder.
2.. Darren Sharper: Serial Rapist
3.. Ray Lewis: Obstruction of justice, double murder case.
4.. Dave Meggett: 30 years in prison, multiple sexual assaults.
5.. *Marvin Harrison: Probably killed a dude. Probably.
6.. Jamal Lewis: 4 months in prison, cocaine distribution.
7.. Aldon Smith: One man recurring crime and DUI spree
8.. Barrett Robbins: Attempted murder of 3 cops, shot three times.
9.. Darrell Russell: Charged with videotaping rape of drugged victim. Dead.
10.. Jim Dunaway: “The Unknown OJ Simpson”. Google him.
11.. Lawrence Taylor: Cocaine, statutory rapist.
12.. Leonard Little: Manslaughter DUI.
13.. Nate Newton: Caught with 213 pounds of weed in trunk. Pounds.
14.. Stanley Wilson: 22 years in prison for stealing $130,000 from home burglary.
15.. Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson: Cocaine use with teenage girls, sexual assault.
16.. Donte Stallworth: Manslaughter DUI.
17.. Timmy Smith: 2 years in prison for selling cocaine
18.. Nate Webster: 12 years in prison, sex with 15 year old.
19.. Plaxico Burress: Gun violation, tax evasion.
20.. Mark Ingraham Sr.: 7 years in prison, money laundering.
21.. Mercury Morris: Cocaine trafficking.
22.. Bam Morris: 30 months, drug trafficking. Violate parole, got 10 years.
23.. Justin Strzelczyk: Killed himself doing 90 mph into truck on highway.
24.. Ahmad Bradshaw: Parole violations, drug suspensions.
25.. Warren Sapp: Domestic battery charges, prostitution arrest.
26.. Dexter Mannley: 3 years in jail, recurring drug charges.
27.. Irving Fryar: 5 years in jail, mortgage fraud.
28.. Ray McDonald: 2 sexual assault cases still pending.
29.. Tank Johnson: Lengthy rap sheet
30.. Johnny Jolly: Numerous drug arrests, sentenced to 6 years in prison.
31.. Marshawn Lynch: Hit and run DUI as a Bill, another as Seahawk.
32.. Jimmy Hitchcock: 2 years in jail, mortgage fraud.
33.. Aqib Talib: Charged with shooting at man fleeing his house in Texas.
34.. Donte Whitner: Resisting arrest, harassing his girlfriend.
35.. Michael Irvin: Cocaine charges.
36.. Ray Rice: Punching his wife.
37.. *Jim Brown: Problems with women. I count 1964 NFL championship!
38.. Bill Romanowski: BALCO client, roid user, various altercations with teammates.
39.. Tom Cable: Violently assaulted member of his staff as Raider HC.
40.. John Matusczak: Raging drug addict, assaulted Raider assistant coach.
41.. Kerry Collins: DUI arrest, racial slur with teammates.
42.. Barry Switzer: Caught with gun in his bag at airport checkpoint.
43.. TJ Ward: Arrested for throwing glass at bartender. Community service.
44.. Vance Johnson: Arrested for failing to pay alimony, child support.
45.. *Mark Chmura: Probably had hot tub sex with teenager. Probably.
46.. Lance Briggs: Crashed car, left scene, reported it stolen.
47.. *Ben Roethlisberger: Might have raped a girl in a bar. Maybe.
48.. Jared Allen: Multiple DUIs, suspension.
49.. Sebastian Janikowski: Collegiate date raper, cop briber.
50.. Eugene Robinson: soliciting a prostitute, night before game.

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12 COMMENTS

  1. randy moss spent 30 days in jail and ran over a meter maid
    paul hornoung got in trouble for tax evasion an suspend for a year for gambling had to have his coach vince lombardi have his freind pete rozelle let him off the hook had to commit not to go to vegas or the kentucky derby while he played

  2. We need a Top 50 NFL Criminals of All Time list. I can remember a few off the top of my head that would qualify but didn’t play in the “big game” (i.e.: Mossy Cade and Pacman Jones).

  3. The only thing to “nit pick” is that #30 Johnny Jolly was not on a team that played in a Super Bowl. He was arrested the year before the Packers Super Bowl XLV victory and suspended from the NFL at the time.

  4. Some guys never were convicted. Some guys not even charged. And some of the guys on the list, aren’t really bad guys, they just made a mistake that I am sure they regret for a lifetime. Where is this information?

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