The Daily Czabe

Daily Czabe: Forrest Gump Would Make A Great Kim Jong Un Bodyguard

Ya gotta give it to the North Korean strongman, he knows what LOOKS cool, if nothing else. And this looks hella cool. A small dispatch of uniformed bodyguards, whose job is to RUN alongside the car KJU is riding in. As some have said: does Kim Jong not know about “motorcycles?”

Kim Jong-Un Likes His Bodyguards To Run Sub-3 Hour Miles

David Akers Cuts Mega-Heel Promo While Announcing Eagles Pick

Doris Burke Describes Her Longshot Climb From Providence to the NBA

NFL Draft Sets “Record” For Highest Rated and Most Watched Ever

LeBron Got A Lot of Skeevy Calls Sunday, Is A World Class Flopper

Jason Whitlock: Some Made Way Too Much of Lamar Jackson Draft Position

Surfer Rides World Record 80 Foot Wave! EIGHTY!

Get Ready For Fake Video, And Goodbye “Objective Reality”

Suspended Sox Pitcher Heads to Bleachers

Vince Young Botches Complicated Name at Draft: “H-A-R-O-L-D.”

 

Daily Czabe: The Human Shields Were Casualties

So ol’ Roger thought he could pull a fast one last night. Bring up the three most popular Cowboys legends he could, and maybe – just maybe – that would slow down the avalanche of YOU SUCK from what was going to be a mostly Cowboy-fan house at night one of the draft. Like most things, Roger Goodell does: FAIL.

The Human Shields Did Not Work: Goodell Booed Mercilessly at Draft

Phil Mushnick Takes Chainsaw to Mike Franscesa in His WFAN Crawl Back

A Ryder Cup For Ex-Pro Athletes? Brilliant!

Jenny Cavnar Becomes First Woman to Call Major League Baseball Game on TV

The Timberwolves Karl Anthony Towns Cannot Be Trolled

How Fast Does That QB Throw? QB Radar Gun Numbers DO Exist!

A Comprehensive History of Caps Losses to Penguins

Rhonda Rousey Admits Holly Holm Broke Her

Ball Family to Lithuania: “We Out!”

Man From U.N.C.L.E. – Soccer Guy Tattoos Entire Jersey

Man From U.N.C.L.E. 2 – Toldeo Makes Massive Twitter Mistake on Mascot

Daily Czabe: Let’s Stop Hugging The Spokesape, Please

About damn time somebody else said what I’ve been saying for years now: Roger Goodell is NOT your friend. Not today, not tomorrow, never as a player! So don’t act like he’s “your boy” when you bounce up on stage tonite. If the commissioner was a pencil neck lawyer like Tagliabue, you wouldn’t hug him. You’d shake his hand and take a photo. Then move on.

 

Daily Czabe: Meet The Process: Sam Hinkie 2.0

 

With the Sixers having closed out the Heat last night, everybody is saying Philly might make another dark horse run to the championship, ala the Eagles. The man who engineered this team, Sam Hinkie, was pushed out by the league two years ago. This profile by Chris Ballard of SI.com in November of 2016 is only about 5% basketball, but it’s 100% fascinating.


All the News that Matters to Me . . .

 

 

Daily Czabe: Hello, Pittsburgh. We Dance, Again!

With the Capitals Game 6 closeout of Columbus last night, we return to a familiar foe. No, “nemesis.” No… the Penguins are… our “daddy.” For the 4th time in the last 7 playoff appearances by each of us, the Caps and Pens shall meet. Last year, it did not end well. And of the last 10 meetings, the Caps have lost 9 of them.

The other day, I told my 15 year old who was struggling with her homework, that chemistry was my “El Guapo” back in the day. She stared at me blankly. I had to explain the scene in the great movie “The Three Amigos.” If your kids don’t understand it, well… here’s your link. Enjoy.

All The News That Matters To Me!

 

 

 

Daily Czabe: James Harden Is A Real Life Renaissance Painting

What’s the saying: “Life imitates art?” How about NBA photos sometimes imitate a fresco you would see on a church ceiling somewhere in Europe. Call this one “Passion of the Beard”…. or something. I guess the reason you pay so much money for seats on the floor, is to jab your finger in the face of a superstar and act like an asshole dude-bro. Like David Stern once said: “NBA Action: It’s Fan-tastic!”

Here’s a few more things, stories, videos, and random stuff I’ll be talking about today on the radio. Enjoy the lecture notes.

All The News That Matters To Me….

 

 

The Daily Czabe: Painted Puddy, Rocks The Devils!

 

Actor Patrick Warburton has the kind of dopey-funny dead-voiced delivery that makes me chuckle if he were only reading the phone book. So to see him reprise his classic role as face-painted super-Devils-fan “David Puddy” from Seinfeld at an actual NJ Devils playoff game…. mmmmmmaaah!


ALL THE NEWS THAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME . . .

 

 


 

 

The Daily Czabe: Stuff I’ll Be Talking About Today

Once upon a time – 20 years ago – former Saints coach and beer sales legend Mike Ditka ran his mouth about how he would “trade his entire draft” for one player – Texas RB dynamo Ricky Williams.

Then he did, just that. Charlie Casserly, then my team’s GM at the time (Redskins) tells the story of how it all went down.

……

Bruno Sammartino has died. The wrestler was a legend, and some say is on the hypothetical “Mount Rushmore” of pro grapplers along with Hulk Hogan.

…….

You’ll never believe this… but instant replay ISN’T WORKING WELL IN GERMAN LEAGUE SOCCER EITHER!

…….

The NCAA has finally struck down their own version of prohibition. Good night, Eliot Ness! You are no longer needed!

…….

In Russia, a trained bear hands the official game ball to the ref in soccer, and leads the fans in cheers. What could possibly, ever, go wrong?