The Daily Czabe

Go Ahead “Iron Man”, Lemme Hold Your Beer. You Got This!

“The suit is powered by five micro gas turbines that use four litres of fuel per minute to keep a standard-sized human afloat. Each turbine provides an estimated 22 kilograms worth of thrust, but potential pilots are warned to hover just off the ground for safety reasons.”

 

  1. Welcome To The Age of Real Life Iron Man (Ho-lee S***!!!!!)
  2. Brittany Lincicome Plays vs. Men. Does Anybody Care?
  3. FedEx Makeover: New Nachos, Fewer Seats, and a “Pavilion.”
  4. Alabama Football Hit With Suspension!** (Well, their Twitter, at least..)
  5. The Sports Media Continue to Think They Are Experts in CTE
  6. WFAN Rocked With Lawsuit, Allegations of “Frat House” Culture
  7. Reddit Guy Has Some Great Commercial Ideas for Mike Trout
  8. Domino’s Bucks Trend, Now Wants to OPEN Tons More Stores!
  9. Steven A. Smith Keeps Getting Promoted, Still Not Happy
  10. Jimmy Garappolo Takes Hardcore Porn Star on Date

MLB Commissioner to Mike Trout: Get Out More!

“If he wants to engage and be more active in that area, I think we could help him make his brand really big,” Manfred said. “But he has to make a decision that he is prepared to engage in that area, and it takes time and effort.”

 

  1. Angels Make Staunch Defense of Star In Face of Commissioner Criticism
  2. Ian Woosnam: Let’s Get Nuts! Tear Up Old Course, And Build A New One!
  3. Cubs Star Yu Darvish Mansion Fence Meets HOA Objections
  4. Baseball Helmet “C-Flap” Controversy in Youth Baseball
  5. Weinstein Lawyer: Judd Had Creepy Agreement With Pervy Boss
  6. Goliath Grouper Makes Light Snack of Shark On Fishing Line
  7. Deadliest Catch Edgar Hansen Admits Charges of Sexual Abuse of Minor
  8. “Shade Balls” Are The Latest Epic Fail of Good Intentions, And Bad Math
  9. Parents Behaving Badly: Youth Sports’ Worst, Caught on Video
  10. “Who Told You To Put the Cheese On?”

 

All Star Moment We Never Forget: Pete Rose v. Ray Fosse

“That’s something people will continue to talk about, whether they were alive at the time or watched the video and see the result,” Fosse said. “There have been some harder hits. Just the fact it was an All-Star Game, they always vote on the All-Star game highlights or lowlights and that always seems to be at the top that people talk about.”

Ray Fosse’s Shoulder STILL Hurts From That Collision

Top Moments in All-Star Game History

Aaron Rodgers Has 40 On His Mind, Hopefully With Packers

Ben McAdoo: No Ragerts About Benching Eli Manning

Swimsuit Model Breastfeeds on Runway

Michael Irvin Disapproves of T.O. Skipping HOF Ceremony

Harper Might Have Saved His Free Agency With HR Derby Show

Daily Czabe: Le’Veon Bell Long Term Deal Clock Strikes

“The NFL is a passing league. How much do backs matter given their disposable nature and the relative insignificance of the running game? (Though Bell is quality at catching the ball and in pass protection.) The Steelers shouldn’t sign Bell to a long-term contract. If they don’t, history will show the Steelers played this situation exactly right. Intentionally or not.”

DeMarco Murray Is The Steelers Warning Sign on Le’Veon Bell

EA Sports NCAA Football Lives On, Thanks To These Maniacs

Mickelson Vows to “Try To Act A Little Better” After Rules Gaffes

What’s Wrong With Bryce Harper?

‘Millenial Night’ At Minor League Ballpark, Irks… Millenials. ‘Natch…

Elon Musk Calls Thai Rescue Diver “Pedo Guy”, Shit Gets Real

Bad Driving #1: Fake Cop Pulls Over Real Cops, Gets Arrested

Bad Driving #2: Woman Plunges Off Big Sur, Survives For Week Before Rescue

Bad Driving #3: Man Launches Mini-Van, Sticks To Side of House! 

 

 

Daily Czabe: Why Wait To Get Started on Pushing For An 8-Team CFB Playoff?

Tim Brando has called college football on TV for a long time, hosted studio shows, and lives in the heart of the deep-south SEC. When Uncle Timmy talks, I listen. And in a recent radio interview Brando says that it’s a virtual “lock” that Alabama, Clemson, and Ohio State make the CFB Playoff this year. Part of the reason: “Blue Blood Priviledge” – when a team like Bama does lose, it’s drop in the polls is cushioned by the invisible hand of pollsters perception of them as college football royalty.

Alabama’s Blue Blood Privilege, And Why 3 of the 4 Playoff Teams Are Almost Already Locks

Mushnick: Transparency In Sports Means Just Being Less Dishonest

The Padres Are Having A Bad Year. Their Flagship Radio Station, Even Worse

Horrible/Ironic Ways to Die: Groom Killed After Colliding With Bride On Zip Line in Honduras

The Worst 18 Wheel Truck Driver… Ever.

Daily Czabe: Leave Ikea Out of This, You Blokes

English soccer fans have never been known for their politeness, nor subtlety. So when the “Three Lions” surged past Sweden to make the Cup semi’s for just the 3rd time in history, of course some hooligans took it out on the nearest thing “Sweden” they could find: an IKEA store. Assholes. But… expected.

English Soccer Fans Take It Out On Nearby IKEA

Elon Musk Actually Invented A Mini-Sub Rescue Device: Over The Weekend!

Eight Years Ago This Was A Really, Really.. REALLY Bad “Decision”

Legion of Boom! Brandon Browner Is Not A Nice Person. (Blame CTE!)

Horrible And Random Way To Die: Runaway Bus Into Inflatable Kiddie Pool

Want Some Cocaine On That Social Media? Ha! It’s Already Sprinkled In There!

If Somebody Catches The Loch Ness Monster, What Should We Do?

Andrew Luck Throws Pick-6: With His Wallet!

 

Daily Czabe: Boogie Cousins Signing Breaks the Internet, Maybe The NBA?

On paper, it’s a joke. The reigning 2x champs just turned their full house lineup into a royal flush. On paper, at least. That’s 5 All-Stars from LAST YEAR alone, who will (assuming Boogie’s achilles injury incurs no setbacks) comprise the Warriors starting lineup when it matters: next spring. The patent un-fairness of it seems to be the over-arching reaction of fans right now, but let’s focus for a minute on just WHY Cousins had to take a one-year show-me deal for the mid-level exception: he’s a mental patient. A supremely talented one, no doubt. But he’s a walking, talking, fight-starting, locker-room-chemistry-ruining type of player. It’s why NOBODY wanted to offer him a contract of any significance right now. That’s the real story. Is he worth the headache? We’re about to find out.

The Ringer: The Boogie Question

What Will Replace the Ginormous LeBron Banner In Cleveland?

Japanese Soccer Fans Gutted By 3-2 Loss To Belgium, Still Very Tidy

John Daly Should Stop Whining About The USGA Denying Him A Golf Cart

It’s Come To This: Chocolate Donuts Are (Possibly) Racist

 

 

Daily Czabe: Vince McMahon Is All In On New XFL2

Talk about a guy who knows “you can’t take it with you!” The 73-year-old wrasslin’ titan has been riding high with the recent TV rights fee gold rush for his product so why the hell not pour half-a-billion of your own money into a football league nobody asked for, against the most unbeatable sports product in America the NFL, and in a concept that has already failed miserably once before? Hey, it’s only money, right?

Vince McMahon’s Investment into XFL2 Is Closer to $500 Million, Not $100 Million

Fired ESPN Tennis Broadcaster’s Lawsuit Gets Greenlight to Proceed

The NFL Usually Ignores It’s Own “Domestic Violence” Policy

Seattle’s Legion Of Boom Going… Pfffft. Kam Chancellor To Retire, We Think

Asshole Neighbor: Rattle-Less Rattlesnake, Tossed Into Home

Carnival Cruise Worker Goes Overboard, Survives 22 Hours, Picked Up By Another Cruise Ship

 

 

Daily Czabe: This Is Not A Photoshop!

I can guarantee this photo from the NBA’s draft night will be used for years to come as prime click-bait on the internet. I see headlines like: “You Won’t Believe Why This Player’s Hat Won’t Fit!” Or: “It Was A Perfect Plan…Until THIS Happened!” And so on, and so forth. Moments like this are why the NBA Draft – far less watched, and far less surprising than the annual NFL 3-day gorge-fest – still delivers quality entertainment.

Hollywood Reporter: ESPN’s Internal Political Divide: Tradition vs. “Woke” Reformers

NY Post: Fox Didn’t Wilt Even When Phil Mickelson Did

Bleacher Report: Fire This Bum! Odds Out On First NFL Coaches To Get Canned

Daily Mail: Brett Favre On A Mission To End Youth Tackle Football

Variety: Kobe Bryant Rejected For Admission Into Film Academy

NY Post: Woj Bombs Were Flying Anyway on Draft Night

Yahoo: Air-Ball. LiAngelo Goes Undrafted, Foiling Lavar’s Master Plan

Happy Birthday: Dustin Johnson, ProTracer Porn Star

 

 

Daily Czabe: The Trotz-Walk Says More About Ted, Than Anybody

Leave it to my buddy and former colleague Thom Loverro of the Washington Times to hit it out of the park on this story. His logic is airtight. Ted has cycled through a long list of coaches who couldn’t get it done at the NHL level, and then let the guy who just did the damn thing walk away over money. And it’s pretty rich that GM Brian MacLellan said 5 more years for Trotz (on top of the 4 years here already) might be “too long” for a coach to be in one place. Hmmm. Trotz spent 15 years in Nashville, and was still beloved when he was finally fired. Never forget, sports isn’t just about winning. It’s about ego, and credit, and money…. especially when somebody starts doing some winning. Good luck to this Rierden guy. He better be good. He better at least make the playoffs, which is no lock in the quirky NHL.

Thom Loverro: “Trotz Exit Says More About Owner Than Coach”

Rich Tandler: “Trotz Departure Reminiscent of Gibbs Resignation in 1993”

The Big Lead: “ESPN’s Get Up Needs A Gut Rehab”

NY Times: “Mexico’s World Cup Captain Is On US Blacklist”

Geoff Shackelford: “Jason Day Finds Phil’s Antics Disappointing, Spieth Calls It Really Funny”

NBC News: “Project Debator Pits Computer on Internet vs. Human”

Japanese Soccer Fans Are the Nicest, Cleanest Sumbitches On The Planet!

Great News! “Creating A Real Jurassic Park Is Only 5 Years Away!”

Daily Czabe: The Chickens Are Coming Home To Roost

Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, pictured at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas, on August 21, 2011. (Michael Ainsworth/The Dallas Morning News)

The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are as iconic and perfect to the game of football, as a tight spiral itself. But for years owners have been happy to let the thirsty nature of these girls allow for dirt cheap compensation to shake and jiggle their stuff wearing officially logoed NFL hot pants. Now, the lawsuits are coming fast and furious. Many of them are thin on merit. But this one might not be. Even though it’s *possible* to get a full squad of blazing hot women who can dance like Jennifer Beals on crank for as little as $4.95 an hour, it doesn’t mean it makes sense in the big picture. By keeping the compensation level so absurdly low, you are inviting side-hustles, lawsuits, and shenanigans. In the end, wouldn’t it make more sense to pay each cheerleader a reasonable $35,000 a year for being part of the elite NFL-caliber “game day presentation” and be done with it? For 32 separate billion dollar battleships floating on an endless sea of money, this would be a no brainer to me.

Former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Lawsuit: “I Only Made $4,700 A Season After Expenses”

This Is  The Phil Mickelson Play By Play Call We Wish We Had Seen!

Dustin Johnson’s Baby Momma and Hot Friends Don’t Pay Close Attention to Golf

Barry Trotz Bolts Washington Over Lack of Respect, And… Of Course… Money

What Is The Hypnotic Attraction of the Extended Kardashian Clan Over NBA Players?

Ed Werder Decides to Die On A Stupid Twitter Hill

Google May Be Able to Predict When You Die. Creepy!

The Weed… From Hell!

Veggie Trays Poisoning People Left and Right: Now You Know Why I Don’t Eat Them!

Daily Czabe: Dear Donovan: You HAVE NO OTHER Team!

There’s nothing more American than taking sweet and easy corporate sponsorship dollars for a 5 minute endorsement shoot. Hell, it’s why Krusty the Clown once said: “I heartily endorse this product or service.” That said, this is sports, and this is soccer, and hell-to-the-naw-naw on US soccer “star” Landon Donovan taking easy Wells Fargo cash to pretend that he’ll be rooting for the USA’s biggest rival, Mexico. Oh, no. No no no…. Boo. Boo, Landon.

Landon Donovan’s Bandwagon Mexican Fandom Stirs Emotions

Bishop Bullwinkle Classic: “Hell To the Naw-Naw”

NBA’s “Cotton Pickin'” Announcer Quietly Fired in OKC

Tony Finau Has Come A Long Way Since Playing for $2M Prize in Vegas

Thank God! Kim Kardashian Won’t Rule Out Presidential Bid

A Kid After My Own Heart: Calls 911 Over Salad!

Grandmother Chokes Out Rabid Bobcat With Bare Hands: Badass!!!

Not So Lucky…. Woman Eaten Alive By Python Checking Her Garden

 

 

Daily Czabe: Animal Strong Beats Human Strong, All Day, Every Day

Being at the top of the food chain, us humans like to think we’re pretty badass. But take away our guns, knives, opposable thumbs, and understanding of science and nature… well… we ain’t shit in the brutish world of eat or be eaten. We’re not that strong, either. Not like we think. Here’s an adorable video of three buff dudes trying to pull a 2 year old lion cub off her block in a game of tug of war. Now remember: this is a CUB. Imagine how many men it would take to drag a full grown Mustafa just a few inches in a direction it didn’t want to go?

Packers Coach Winston Moss Is Annoyed At Mini-Camp Questions

Get Ready For The Ritual Attack of the Soccer Scolds

West Point Drummer Sues Fox & Friends for Axe Stunt Gone Bad

Former MLB Ace Kevin Brown, Plays Vigilante, Holds Mail Thieves At Gunpoint

Russia To JerryWorld’s Crappy Bleacher Seats: “Hold Our Beer…”

 

 

Daily Czabe: The 30-Fore-30 Treatment of Club Pro Guy’s 8-Par Streak

A little backstory is necessary on this one. About a year ago, somebody on Twitter created an account called “Club Pro Guy.” That person, almost certainly, is/was a PGA of America club professional. Not necessarily a glamour job, despite the perception from casual golfers or non golfers. Club pros, are the grinders of the golf industry, working at least 6 days a week in season, and doing a lot of tedious things like folding sweaters in the pro-shop and giving lessons to 70 year olds who can’t break 100.

But the Twitter account “Club Pro Guy” had a twist. They created a “backstory” on him. That he once played the “Mexican Mini-Tour” (doesn’t exist) and that he had very modest success. He once made “8 straight pars.” The “feat” is talked about, as if it was Tiger’s “Tiger Slam” of four majors in a row. If you play golf, you will find this guy very funny. And you need to dig back into his timeline on twitter to get some of the running jokes. The menu bar at the top of his website is a good place to start.

Golfer Beef Johnson Has A Delicious Towel

Anonymous Baseball Exec on Bryce Harper: “Selfish Losing Player”

Rafa Nadal Says Pay Tennis Purses Based on TV Viewership

Let’s Carve Up California Like A Chicken!

Argentina Prisoners To Go On Hunger Strike if They Can’t Watch World Cup

Andrew Luck Throws Little Baby Football For First Time In Months

Ottowa Senators Star Player Cyber-Bullied By Girlfriend of Teammate

Greg Hardy Knocks the F*** Out of His MMA Opponent

The Case for Jim Rome in the Radio Hall of Fame

 

 

 

 

Daily Czabe: Adorable 8 Year Old Girl Slays Zepplin Riff on Drumset

The interwebs are full of hateful, stupid, time wasting things. This, is not one of them. Being able to sit down to a drum kit and play something, anything, not resembling the noise of a guy falling down a tall flight of stairs is a cool thing. I’ve been told, I can do that. But to see a smiling 8 year old girl just dissect one of the most iconic drum beats in rock-n-roll history with precision, is absolute gold.

8 Year Old Girl Kills It on “Good Times, Bad Times” By Led Zepplin

The Debate Is Over. Yes, Washington IS A Great Sports Town

Jon Gruden’s “QB Camp” With Now Retired Brett Favre is… Well… Awesome!

The Burden of Being LeBron Jame

LeBron’s to Direct Film Critical of NCAA

Messi and Ronaldo Still The Stars Of The World Cup, Despite Never Winning It

Seattle Abruptly Figures Out Random $275 “Head Tax” Is Probably A Bad Idea